


Broken Hearts lonely parts  (Rainbow Bears get their wings)

by Luv_Makes_U_Strong



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse by Boyband management, Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Drinking, Eating Disorders, Fake Pregnancy, Fake Relationship, Fantasy elements, Fluff, I love rbb, Its just weed though, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Non AU, PTSD, Smoking, Some Drug Use, Souls for goals, Suicidal Thoughts, There may or amy not be a chorus of gay angels, This is an attemot at humor lol, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Vomiting, my sweet boys, nervous breakdown
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2018-12-30 12:50:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 23,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12109089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luv_Makes_U_Strong/pseuds/Luv_Makes_U_Strong
Summary: With Simon Cowell and the x factor contracts hanging over their heads, and controlling their lives, Satan and the angels have very different ideas of how to help. Featuring rainbow bears, gay angels, holy water, and Satan's minions will the boys make it through or not?





	1. Out in space

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to my good friend Anna Larrie. This is my second attempt at this story after certain people cause the plot to have to be changed (I am looking at you syco) hope you enjoy my satirical take on the last few years.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short introduction...

Forever and forever time in and out if Time, there have been three important constituents of this universe we share. Moat humans know them. There is matter, and energy( physics) and Spirit(theology/ philosophy). I, Your narrator am spirit. However in the Platonic sense I am an Ideal Form. 

My partner and I are teddy bear spirits, that is the spirits of loving plushy rainbow bears. Yes we have material forms on planet Earth. "

Let's travel there to the third planet which is covered by oceans, and full of human beings most of which have guardian spirits.( unless ordered away by those humans) So here we are orbiting Earth,myself and my BFF, and it is a really lovely planet,. Now some of you readers have seen my 'little bro' and I, on your internet. But we have decided that we have a bigger story to tell than previously alluded to in our i art installations at certain concerts ,our pics on Twitter, etc. We love Earth and its human beings, and though sometimes some of them (act like real asses not to disparage donkeys,) do great harm - you know what we mean. Those nasty people really can mess with other's lives. That's where we come in. We're problem solvers like your "Men in Black", only we aren't men, and we are covered in rainbows."

Please bear with our scriber's typos and mistakes with punctuation. We feel you'll be inspired by the five lads we are writing about , and then maybe you will go listen to their music. We will allude to some villains, but hey we are slushies, and we tell it as we see it.


	2. Ready to Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we meet the 1Direction team, a group of heavenly singers (other than the lads), travel backwards and forwards in time, and get an idea of life in a Boyband circa 2010...

Hello, let's travel back to the 1980's (Roman and Post-Roman Calendar). There was a pretty awful plague on planet Earth then, which started in Africa and spread everywhere else. At first it affected the Gay Community worst. So off in the heavenly dimensions Big C. (as we angels call the Creator of the Universe sometimes - in a totally respectful and loving way), ahem, Our Most Beloved and Adored Big C noticed a huge influx of new souls- all young, men, and gay too. The Creator also knew a worldwide epidemic was evolving that would take all sorts of people even babies and little children, but at that moment Our Creator wanted action on behalf of these much loved young men. . 

Archangel Michael's hotlines rang. "What is happening on the third planet from that middling yellow star in that charming spiral galaxy I like so much?"  


Archangel .Michael was busily finishing a bit of earthly chocolate cake with double chocolate frosting that we'd given him, and sputtered " Big C., that isl, ...My Lord, ...Hashem,...You mean the beautiful ocean covered world where chocolate, " he swallowed in an embarrassed way" comes from??" If angels could blush, he would have been pink from crown to toes.  
"

"Yes, and I know you're snacking again", the Master of the Universe said. "So tell me about all these new souls from Earth. Of course they're a blessed addition to the heavenly realms, but Archangel, they are not living out the threescore and ten years I proposed for humans? I want to know what is going on?? Why is this plague not being scientifically addressed as it should??? Is there another nuclear war on and you have managed to hide that??? Hmmmm or has Satan has sneaked some dastrdly trick in behind My Back? And ... " here was an ominous pause, " is there some reason you did not apprise Me of this situation? Again The Breath of Life In The Universe hummmed, "Hmmmm??"  


Now Archangel Michael is one amazing sight: twice as tall as a human being with luminous skin, semi-transparent of course, and his eyes...Oh my word. His eyes flash pure white light. The few earthlings who have seen him in his true state have passed out from fright. Michael licked the last delicious molecules of chocolate from his angelic countenance and collected his thoughts, " Your Most Supreme Lovingness I have erred. Forgive me. yes, I have really erred." If there is one quality Archangel Michael has in abundance it is truthfulness. "I misjudged the serious nature of this crisis."  
" 

"That's for sure," Our Creator said to Michael. " In just these few heavenly seconds a decade has passed on Earth; so the suffering must be mitigated now - this instant.", 

At once Archangel Michael humbly stood invisible in a hospital in New York City, in a hospice in San Francisco, a rural clinic in Nigeria, and a small village in Russia. Yes, it took more time than he cared to count to inspire doctors, researchers, heads of NGO'S, quilters and a large number of people to work on getting the plague under control. Additionally, Michael was proud to start movements for tolerance of the differently gendered. And ... he was able to bring quite an amount of chocolate back to his office .

He dispatched we two Rainbow Bondage Bears, who were just happy helping spirits in those days, althoughsigned up for Guardian Angel rank, to form a choir of our new recruits and we called ithem - Our Gay Angel Choir.  
* Now we want to say we are not going into all the differences between one type of angel and another, or transformed humans and Rainbow Bears,okay, this is a story after all.

 

Imagine time passing. A few years later, a British reality television show gathered five lads ( most important in this story) from a group of auditions. It was in the beginning of 2010, and Harry, Zayn, Niall, Liam and Louis were part of a crowd hoping for a chance to break out of their hum-dum working class lives, and to get their dreams of careers in Show Business started with this new type of apprenticeship. Now, back in the heavenly dimensions RBB and I were conducting our new choir members in a quartet of Rainbow hymns, when our tenors proclaimed they sensed a disturbance in the heavenly harmony and begged us to check on Earth. Right away we zoomed to Manchester, and immediately spotted predatory individuals beginning to make nefarious plans for these very talented and flamboyant younglings. "Why if he were here on earth right now, these things would cause Archangel Michael's eyes to burn solid stone !!"SBB proclaimed.

Among the horrifying things we two observed, were : 1)Harry was encouraged at just 16 to wander about nude in the "house " where contestants lived. 2) We saw them inculcating the beginnings of fat phobias. 3) It was observed by many that thete was an obsession with heteronormative gender orientation. ... And lastly management demonstrated an insidious desensitization to the needs and feelings of others. 

"Horrors!!" We Bears cried, and filed a report with Heaven.

"Wait!" You might say to RBB and me, SBB. "All those things that happened during the competition were all in fun?!" RBB and I will remind you later, that you called us out on this.

 

So we two were assigned to safeguard these boy's true selves, assisting their overwhelmed guardian angels. Thus we began our training to become Guardian Angels, yes, us our very soft and plushy rainbowed hued selves..

Weeks into the show it became obvious that two of the boys had a crush on each other...affirmed by Harry in an interview. Behind the scenes all was not rosy. We overheard Simon the Chief Organizer sniping about those two dear lads. "How, pray tell are we going to market these ungrateful gutterrsnipes to teenage female consumers when the two of them are making 'goo-goo' eyes at each other?" he raged to his friend's and sycophants. 

 

"No one cares overmuch" responded his assoc. producer, busy with a clipboard full of more pressing problems.

 

"Why are you contradicting me!?!" thundered the Cowell. "I am nipping this over sweet blossom in the bud! Right now!" and off he careened - underlings in tow. 

RBB turned to me "SBB are we just going to stand here and let one of the possibly great romances of the twenty-first century be squashed by one of our signed and sealed enemies? 

SBB threw his "big" little paws in the air dramatically! "No RBB! " Then as Leader of we two Rainbow Bondage Guardian-angel- in-training-bears, I apparated us into the dorm of the five lads. There we found a peaceful scene. Niall was resting on their sofa cuddled up against Harry. Louis bent down and brushed a butterfly kiss against Harry's nose, or was it a hummingbird kiss?

 

" You are too sweet " Haz murmured so softly only Louis and we bears heard him. 

 

"Aha! Caught you two engaging in ungrateful, suspicious behaviour!!" Simon Cowell burst into the quiet room. "Yes, I have caught you !!" 

Louis leapt back; Niall almost swallowed his tongue, and Haz sat up so quickly he promptly fainted. "None of your sly tricks young man !" bellowed the Cowell as Niall began to shake uncontrollably, and sputtered incoherently. True to his big brother training Lou bent, scooped up Harold and scampered out of there so fast Simon spun dizzily around in a circle./p>


	3. Hey Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein RBB and SBB attempt to enlist Archangel Gabriel 's assistance for the 1D lads. Harry and Louis, Liam, Zayn and Niall have much to endure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many many thanks to my granddaughter -Who edits and makes positive suggestions.

SBB reporting here: a strange phenomenon occurred on the post X-Factor Tour. With each successive performance along the way, larger and larger crowds of fans turned up to cheer on the boys. Now Simon, MODEST!, et cetera signed them up to three year, three album contracts(in addition to their voluminous X-FACTOR contracts), and the boys were thrilled.!!  


Of course theirs was not unalloyed bliss, for each teen was assigned a 'persona'. This was standard procedure in Boyband World, but any deviation from the prescribed stereotype committed in performances, interviews, Social Media interactions, or public appearances would result in staggering Draconian punishments for one and all - all laid out in cold confusing 'legalise mumbo jumbo.' 

We whispered warnings about these consequences at night when all five were sleeping, but youthful optimism overcame our logical ("What ifs?)"  
"I don't know what else we should have done SBB", RBB confided comfortingly. "Full-fledged Guardian qangels have about as much success in these areas as we did",RBB said. 

Time on Earth had flown by and Harry and Louis were so much in love with each other, they radiated that emotion. Although management had tolerated their affectionate gestures and goofy looks, over the top BFF status, and undisguised cuddles for a short length of time, that "honeymoon" was long over. Sales were not at all affected by their "ship" in those days; fans seemed delighted by their growing closeness. But what would fans in the United States do? Would they still buy record numbers of CDs?? 

Overall signs of wear and tear on the lads were appearing weekly. They were traveling all the time and sleeping in airports was not unusual. They worked hard and harder and when asked, they worked even harder - catching catnaps on studio floors still in costume for shooting. And 1D became astonishly popular and well received all over the world. Their management congratulated themselves on the creating the boy's success, not realizing that it was each individual's irrepressible personality shining through the phony forced stereotypes that fans loved. 

When huge Klein lights shone on our lads and the fans went wild screaming their love, something magical happened. In those venues where the lads interacted with the huge crowds of fans in their unique and unnpredictable exchanges, well, they achieved marvelous harmonies of spirit and song. We saw a direct communication and energy moving between boys and audiences, a joyous communion of souls. It was awe-inspiring to little bears like us. Yes we loved those lads.  


As their handlers began berating them rather viciously for a gained pound, or a misstep on stage, or a flat note no one really heard with all the fans' verbal ecstasy vibrating through the stadiums, we felt their hurt too. Fans did not begin to guess how negatively management treated our lads. Management seemed to resent normal growth and maturational processes. 

S o RBB and I made an appointment to see the head of Human Heavenly Personal Relations. Our five 's creative input was getting dismissed and our Louis was getting hounded for his natural and God-given flamboyance. Harry wept uncontrollably about his deepening voice. Zayn and Liam were too anxious. We packed some chocolate for Archangel Michael and off we went. 

"Your report RBB and SBB is very impressive for angels-in-training-junior grade." Archangel Gabriel leaned ever so slightly towards across his celestial desk. "You two have greatly improved your presentation of data, personal observations ( pleasantly objective ), and the overall organisation is 100% improved." He glowed at us. "Keep this kind of work up, and soon you'll earn your wings." 

We were stricken mute with shyness. Simultaneously we mumbled " Thank you your Archangelness" I took a deep breath and ventured " Ugh, um, Your Mighty Angel ness, we do have a list of concerns."

"First rate " he ignored me. "Right now I have an urgent meeting,..."

I interrupted his interruption, " Your Wisdom,Your High Angelness, !MODEST! and SYCO have so belittled the boys over the last months we are worried. They are overworked past exhaustion, body shamed, anxiety inducingly negatively criticized, and their wages are being stolen for expenses." I rushed on "...they'll be vulnerable to the minions of his Evilness, you know, and may fall into that new hellish promotion gimmick "SOULS FOR GOALS"

Gabriel's office door opened and we found ourselves flat on our furry faces outside. We dashed to the doorway. "Hey !" we cried. " If the lads succumb they might turn their fans - a huge chunk of the next generation...." 

From the distance we heard Gabriel, " Bring those concerns to the Seraphim..." And all we heard were the heavenly choirs singing away as usual.

"Oh no !" moaned RBB and then we were back on Earth with the lads, although it was rather late in the night.

••••••••••••••••••


	4. Stockholm Syndrome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Media Training for Harry and Louis seems to be going "too far" according to RBB and the Bears must ☆☆DO SOMETHING☆☆

We arrived back on Earth a few months later at about 1:45in the early morning. Harry, Louis and two '?handlers?' were working on some media moves in a hotel hallway while the other three slept. It wasn't pretty. "Oh no," RBB gasped.

A tall thick man glared at Harry, "Styles I am not asking you to mince about like you always do. No wildly waving arms or uneven gait..." he actually snarled. "Head up, shoulders straight," he smacked Harry between the shoulder blades," spine like a sturdy young tree trunk."

"Alf, what are you on about?" the other handler asked in a bewildered way. He handed Harry two small weights to hold, on in each hand. "Now Styles we're all about mindfulness here tonight." As Harry bent his elbows, the handler continued, "Oh for mercy's sake, hands down before you hit your bandmates in the head!!"

Meanwhile Louis, with his wrists and forearms splinted by a number of rulers wrapped in many layers of ace bandages, was practicing singing with a microphone, thus encumbered. "Now Tomlinson, have you the feel of movin' yer arms without yer usual limp wristed flamboyant gestures. Now we are all going to walk down this hallway like real Pop stars!" 

Both focused and purposefully made their way over the richly carpeted floor as best they could until Harry stumbled and careened into Louis knocking him on the hip with one of his weights, at which time the two friends collapsed into Liam's door. "Aagh! What 's the matter?" cried out the sleeping Liam. 

"Nothing, nothing," answered the handler Alf. Then he turned and growled, "Now listen you lazy slackers you will - w i l l- get this right."

Harry staggered to his feet sleepily. They went back and started again. The second try ended when Louis waved a splintered arm into Harry who crumbled again. Picking himself up again he begged, "can't we do this tomorrow. It's quarter past two and we're getting up at six to catch that flight."

Alf sneered at him, "get this right or you get no rest".

Louis muttered under his breath, " fookin' sadist".

"Cheeky bastard", both middle aged men snapped. "When we're done you'll be giving us fifty"

"With me arms trusted like this?" Louis questioned.

"More snark Tomlinson, well for that, your little boyfriend can give us fifty as well." They snickered and then laughed outright.

A tear leaked out of Harry's eye. "Hey no, no", gasped Louis he didn't do anything wrong".

"Should've thought of that earlier, shouldn't you? Alf retorted.

RBB poked me really hard. "We got to help them", he said.

"Yeah, but how??"I moaned. We were having a think as we spotted a hotel security guard rounding the corner and ambling toward us." In a blink we were on his shoulders whispering to his unconscious mind. His thoughts about the handlers mirrored ours. So we left him to it. A few more steps and the guard tripped over Harry who fell into Alf who banged his head on a fire extinguisher.

"Alfie, pal, are you alright? Let go get you some ice for that goose egg" As soon as he headed for a cold pack, the boys tore down the hall to their room.

"Sorry mate" called Louis as he pushed Harry inside. 

"Feel better soon," Harry chorused. They slammed the door shut and pushed first the room's writing table against the door ,and secondly it's comfy chair

Harry was collapsing in the direction of the bed when Lou grabbed him around the waist, and half carried him in to brush and floss.

"Got to take care of these expensive teeth, love." Then he saw Harry sagging down to pee. He threw a towel over Harry's lap, waited then rushed him to bed. Finishing up his own 'toilette' he jumped into bed so happy to move his wrists freely. 

"Gotta put on Mum's p.j.s "Harry murmured. 

Lou kissed his curls. "You know she'd say sleep is most important," he yawned. He snuggled close and wrapped an arm around his boy. He tried to relax but it was difficult.

We bears had been waiting for this. Sitting on their pillows we began our nightly lullabies that always relaxed Louis' unconscious mind. His eyelids fluttered. They slept.


	5. Midnight Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the lads notice Zayn's unhappiness and do their best for him. El continues breaking Haz and Louis hearts. Harry takes a fake girlfriend to a gay bar and our gay angel choir sings her away for good. Harry and Louis find inspiration from fanfiction.

"Zayn man, such a sick painting! " He looked up to see Liam grinning at him in an odd sort of way. "Guess what mate, Lou ditched Eleanor only to get back and find they've sent Harry out with another model tonight. "Let's you an' me get him out in the fresh air it's early Fall! Such a gorgeous night; there's so many stars out and the moon's so full it'll be great." Before Zayn could say a word, Liam had slung an arm around his shoulder, grabbed his leather jacket and propelled him into the hallway. As they slunk along the hall avoiding handlers, Liam suddenly noticed how really thin and how bony his best friend felt.

After collecting Lou the three headed for a pub in town that Liam said had the very juiciest burgers. Zayn laughed at that, and Louis began to run and jump happily making up a song about burgers and beer. Away from the pressure of management, with his mates at his side, Liam felt high on life. Finding the pub, in they went, and sat far in the back unnoticed by the late crowd. They clinked their pints and began telling each other outrageous stories. The lighthearted mood slid away when their burgers arrived. Louis was cheerfully adding condiments as Zayn stared unhappily at his plate. "You know, I don't think I'm hungry," Zayn murmured.

"Just breathe in those flavors," Liam urged. "You look a little peaky bro" he murmured just as Louis took an enormous bite - onions and pickles dribbling out of his mouth. Zayn smiled weakly and picked up his sandwich. He took a really small bite. Relieved Liam started eating too, finding the sandwich as wonderful as it was last year. After a few minutes Liam looked up to see Zayn looking very pale. Lou looked over too.

"Something the matter? "Louis looked sympathetically at Zayn. Louis was endearingly and annoyingly their elder brother in the group.

"Feeling a little queasy..." All at once Zayn leapt up and dashed to the toilets. Liam rushed after him. Momentarily both returned. Louis was definitely in big brother mode now, and carefully laid his hand over Zayn's, inquiring about his health as he chewed./p>

Zayn seemed chagrined. "Caught something I guess, " he said very quietly.. Then he looked down and pushed away his plate. He kept staring at nothing as he said, " nah, no, I just feel sick when I eat. Well lately I do. And most of the time I forget about meals which is fine you know, really just fine." He shook his head. "Gotta keep at fighting trim."

Liam looked at Lou in dismay, obviously trying to gather his thoughts. Louis finished chewing and squeezed Zayn's hand. "Mate, tell us what 's going on, OK?" Lou's blue eyes were wells of caring. "Whatever it is we'll help you through it." Sadly looking at Zayn under his lashes, Liam looked like someone had kicked his family's puppy.

A tear slid down one of Zayn's cheeks, but he stayed silent now. Liam picked up his pint and drank deeply, and then he brightened. "Beer is full of nutrients, mate. Remember the chart on the wall in that Bier Garten in Germany?!" Again putting his arm affectionately around Zayn, Liam lifted his pint again and gave his BFF a smile hoping he would take a sip. Zayn did. Louis cut the remnants of Z's burger in half and ate just a little. His mum taught him not to waste food, especially something this good.

Harry had chosen a popular gay bar for this latest public date. He had been so melancholy before departing that RBB and I had decided to go with... So Harry had ordered two fruit infused rum cocktails for the beautiful girl and himself. "Uh, um, Harry," the blonde model attempted " there are mostly guys in here, not so many couples." 

Harry smiled, "Yeah and aren't they cute?" he bubbled, and he ordered himself another cocktail. He leaned over so the photographer could get a good shot of his profile. As he popped the strawberry halves into his mouth he added "stripper comes on in ten, Luv, " then he giggled. Seeing someone he knew across the room, he waggled his fingers at him. 

"She isn't very happy," RBB whispered to me. I was about to answer when we looked up to see our premiere Gay Angel Choir flying invisibly overhead. "Aw, they came to cheer Harry up," RBB said happily. Just then they began to sing ABBA'S "Dancing Queen" and Harry seemed to hear them with his Unconscious Mind. I smiled. Blonde Model looked around obviously distressed. RBB asked if I thought she could hear them too, since most mortals could not hear singing from heavenly dimensions. I shrugged. First humming and then singing softly along with them, Harry sang "You are the dancing queen , young and sweet , only seventeen..." His date just kept looking around the club for the source of the music. She seemed a little bewildered and put her lovely pink drink down..

"Urm, uh, um, 'scuse me Harry, but is some group singing along with you in here ??" she asked hopefully. The waiter appeared with Harry's second cocktail and the 1D star smiled flirtatiously in thanks. Then obligingly he looked around the club for a "sick group" of acapela singers.

As our own dear choir moved on to the Bee Gees, Harry began sort of dancing to "Stayin' Alive" while still seated. He exclaimed with delight when he realized the strawberry halves in this drink had Kiwi slices wedged between them. The photographer went mad snapping pics.

Harry was smiling broadly, but Blonde Beauty still looked around the club unhappily. Just then a young man wearing designer jeans and a clingy silk tee undulated by near us. Harry's date watched him with round eyes as he tucked ten quid into the strippers waistband. "Harry Styles take me home now!" she announced. Harry turned to her and gulped

Then he rose, pulled out her chair, "Your wish is my command, lovely lady," he said. Pulling out his phone he texted his driver as they made their way out.

We Bears waved goodbye to our choir as they slipped back into the Heavenly Dimensions and we zoomed after Harry slipping into the car before the door shut.

 

*****************

 

"Oooooh these taters are soo gooood" Louis exclaimed pretending to taste a spoonful of mash. Zayn looked away. Liam practically wept. "Zayn, didn't you tell us how much loved you loved your mum's mash? Well these spuds taste just like your mum's." Zayn turned his head back to Lou ( now in all-out big brother mode) and opened his mouth to say no, when Louis slipped a spoonful of mashed potatoes into Z's mouth.

The previously unsuspecting Zayn sent Lou a wounded look. We Bears took all of this in as we trailed Harry into the pub. Despite the betrayed look in Z's eye, Big Brother Lou was sneakily readying another spoonful of mash. Harry flew to their booth and slid in by Louis. "How about a kiss 'man of my dreams'? ", he said very happily . Harry had barely taken in this '?familial scene?' or the unhappiness of Big Z.

"Your Lou is trying to feed me, arrgh, ulp..." Zayn tried to say as Louis deftly inserted another spoonful into his mouth. Zayn reached over to grab Lou's hoodie, as Harry leaned in to kiss Lou, and an unpleasant conjunction of puckered lips and strong fingers occurred. "What are you doing wet-smooching my hand mate?" he asked Harry. And at that moment another spoon of potatoes landed in his mouth. "Lou !!" he said mouth full, " I am going to 'fooking' break your hand if you try that one more time!"

This time Harry succeeded in kissing Lou, as Zayn glowered at the world in general. "Mmmmn..." Louis purred, "...Again ". Harry obliged and then took the spoon and helped himself to the potatoes. Liam groaned. Zayn pulled out his phone.

All three other phones were buzzing with texts. "Niall says bosses on rampage at hotel...our heads in danger of detachment...he is hiding in maid's cleaning supply closet" read Zayn. Now all had risen placing assorted currency on their table. Quickly they hailed a cab and headed back to their '?home away from home?'.

 

**************

 

As they slid into Niall's hiding place they listened to the latest bad news. We Bears squeezed in as well. "So, " Niall finished, "we need to slip into bed without their noticing." Conspiratorial nods were exchanged and stealthily the lads sneaked down the hall their rooms. Zayn showered and slid into his bed not a moment too soon as two irate handlers burst in without knocking.

"Protocol" muttered Z pulling the sheets higher. Before the nasty men could interrogate him, Zayn said "okay we needed some fresh air, and Liam wanted to see the stars and the moon." 

"You know your protocols" the handlers replied, and number one is " tell us when you go out and where you are going." The man was flushed with anger and as he approached Zayn he radiated menace.

Liam emerged from the shower breathlessly. "Leave Z alone. It was my idea. An impulse, ya know, I just had to get away out of all these rooms before I exploded." He looked blandly at both. Zayn made a mental note to advise Liam to think about acting in the future. "I'm sorry, OK." Liam got into bed and turned off his bedside lamp.

"No pudding for you two tomorrow!" snapped a handler and exited the room.

Extending his arm and hand across the space between their beds Liam grasped Zayn's hand and quietly said, "I get why you lose your appetite or lose your dinner Z, but you'll only get real sick, I mean hospital and I V sick mate. I care about you too much to just let that happen." Zayn nodded tears rolling down his face.

 

************

 

"Niall's safely in. ...Said he started telling handlers about 'me boys' and they just told him to go to sleep. " Harry reported to Lou. They had showered merrily having locked their doors and placed their burglar guard stick from America against the door. Now they were snuggled warmly reading a fanfiction together " You know fans think we are sexual demigods," Harry said softly. Louis shook his head in agreement. "Most of these girls haven't a clue...I find the stories fairly funny, you know, cuz I know how very little most girls know, from havin' all those sisters". Louis giggled. Then he cuddled closer. "Now right here our author is describing how you and I are stranded on this planet at the outer edges of our solar system. Shall I read out loud? " Harry kissed him. "Getting ideas are we ?" Louis laughed and turned I out their lights.


	6. Spaces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which time passes and the year rolls over. Liam has a moment of existential dread and wonders what it would be like to fly. London is cold. We Bears worry for our lads.

"That Build-a-bear really looks a lot like you RBB" I said as we sat on Harry and Louis headboard at Christmas time. "Do you think the lads will dress it up again?" 

"The second bear is too too small don't you think?" RBB asked me. "Well proportion is off but they had to make do with what they could find, I imagine." 

"We aren't the same as their bears so it's fine," I said. "Of course if Gabriel doesn't approve...?" I put my paw up to RBB, and he put his paw against mine. "Let's just see how it goes."

 

***************

 

Liam was having a get-together with the lads in his very prestigious new address. His flat was so very many stories above London. The stars seemed nearby, maybe a few miles away. There was a Christmas tree sparkling, and Liam was tipsy before they all arrived. There had been a "memo" e-mailed to them and it had had fourteen "bullets". Among them was a suggestion that they stop performing together at year's end. Another hinted that continued illness, and repeated absences from performing were not acceptable to !MODEST!" /SYCO, ( no names mentioned ). Then there were some rants about ignoring "girlfriends" as well.

Harry,Louis, and Niall arrived together. Liam mixed drinks. Everyone settled in on the comfortable grey couches. Liam waved a copy of the newest bulletin from management. "Can they make us do this?" Liam exclaimed. He threw himself down next to Niall, who turned to face him. Liam leaned hid head back attempting to stifle his angry tears. Niall reached out to massage his neck and shoulders. 

Harry and Louis leaned forward. Louis placed his hand on Liam's knee and patted. "We think they're just trying to keep us from negotiating for a larger share of profits," Harry spoke slowly, and paused, ...thinking. However the other lads just sipped their drinks and let him take his time. "They also made a sparky 'bullet' about our request for a counselor or therapist traveling with us for a week or so every month since we are becoming understandably burned out," Harry concluded. 

"They are 'right rat bastards' and the most predatory businessmen I've ever met or read about," Louis added. "Me mum's sent me a real nice message, and some f*****r at 1DHQ changed her message, and when I called her and we realized what they'd done, why she burst into tears!" Louis put both hands around his Sambuca, turning the glass sadly. "Ya know, I felt so fu****g helpless," he half-whispered. 

 

"The price of fame and fortune," Liam added, and rose to answer the door. He embraced Zayn and asked if he wanted mint tea or a drink. Then the two moved into the ultra modern kitchen to make the tea. An uneasy silence fell over the group. 

I elbowed RBB; "What can we do to help?" My best mate just shrugged. "It's strange how attached we are to them. And Archangel Gabriel still hasn't gotten back to us with suggestions or offers of help."

Zayn sat himself on a big soft cushion near Liam's favorite chair. Liam ruffled Z's hair. "I don't know how much more of management's shit I can stand," he began. " The nastiness of today's memo was off the charts." He shook his head. Laughing darkly he said, Maybe I'm not meant to be taking their evil criticism well. Maybe I'm just meant to crumple and beg them to end it."

Liam opened his mouth to protest Z's despairing words, but Niall had already walked over and started some music. So Liam quieted and watched Niall dancing. Harry and Louis joined him. For a few minutes they were lost in the songs. Then Harry refilled their glasses and turned the sound down. "I'm really afraid, " he said. 

Now Liam did speak, " if they break us up we won't have each other as back up. I don't do well when they start guilting me and haranging me about loyalty to the 'brand' and shit." (Those tears were in his eyes again.) "They throw so many words at me, and when one stops talking another one begins. It's like a storm of speaking inside my skull. I want to promise them anything, or sign anything, just so they'll shut up and go away. But if Lou is there he just talks right over the worst ones! Harry, you ask the best questions and stop 'em in mid-sentence." Liam put his head in his hands. "There was a time when I thought I wanted to be this great big Justin Bieber star. No more...It's so much better with you four."

"You're right," Zayn some quietly into the silence. "But it's never been about what we want, has it? There's this cabal of guys plotting how to make more money, and more money, and even more money. You know what I feel like I feel like one of those cattle in American feed lots, pushed along, and pushed and pushed until I'm gonna look up at that's when they make the kill shot."

"Z. have you spoken with your dad yet about how you feel?" Louis inquired. "I know I'm the 'momma's boy' , but I always feel empowered and stronger after talking to me mum." Harry put his arm lovingly over Louis ' shoulders. Lou reached up to hold H's hand.

Liam restlessly paced by the window looking out into the beautiful night and studied the London skyline lit by the lights from a million families' windows. He opened the glass doors a bit. "Cold but not too cold" he commented. 

"Could you close that again Liam?" Louis asked always the first to feel chilled. 

Quietly Liam opened the door and walked out onto his balcony ever so high over London. He could see the Thames in the distance and was filled with the strangest feeling. So he climbed from the balcony over to a ledge, and crouched there wondering if he could fly or drift like a leaf or feather. The ground was so far below he almost felt that like everything here was unreal, like in a video or computer game, like Disney world. In fact he wasn't cold anymore. 

Inside there was unholy panic narrated by Niall standing right by the glass. "Oh Gawd, Oh Sweet Christus, he's climbing out on the ledge beyond the balcony...Jesus, Mary, and Joseph and all the saints in heaven help us, oh no, he's just staring at the stars, mebbe he's gonna jump!!" 

RBB and myself were of course out there already. "RBB" I said, it could be we should let him see us".

"No way!" cried RBB. " He'll get even more delusional"

"Liam James Payne, " called Louis from the corner of the balcony nearest his much loved friend, " get your freezing butt back here to me before you catch your death of cold...and your mum's on the phone for you" Liam looked over at Lou and the most astonishing happened ( at least as far as we bears were concerned).  
Lou reached out his hand as though this happened every day maintaining his amazing cool, and Liam grabbed hold. At that moment , unseen by Liam, Harry gripped Louis around the waist and Niall gripped Harry and Zayn grasped Niall. Louis placed a second hand over Liam's and firmly but calmly drew him down, then back inside. 

What a jumble of bodies! Harry and Niall burst into tears, followed by Zayn who crawled over them all to wrap himself around Liam who mercifully began to sob. We Bears retired to the bedroom to send Gabe an SOS. Then we returned to find big brother Louis making duct tape zigzag from window to floor to ceiling and over and back again. Maybe it would deter future forays on the balcony, but we bears shook our heads. "If they're this upset now, " RBB said," how distraught will they be in four months?"


	7. Same Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which our OTP begins 2015 knowing SYCO's dreaded plan for their lives in the upcoming year, and we see a master manipulator at work...

Twenty days before Harry's birthday. I'm counting down Louis told himself. Plans are firming up and I am really beginning to feel pretty excited. 

Today was overcast, drizzly, and blustery from the dregs of a miserable winter storm that had blown in from the Atlantic. Pulling his Burberry tighter, Louis reflected that today's chill was penetrating through all the warm layers of clothing he had on. His umbrella dripped, and even his eyelashes were wet. Nevertheless, Lou pushed the heavy glass and wood door open to Management's headquarters, deposited his umbrella in a provided stand and squared his shoulders. Then he drew off his and Harry's favorite raincoat and carefully hung it on one of the hooks in the beautiful hallway. As he stepped into the lift he straightened his tie, and tugged at his suit jacket smoothing it down. Today he did not care to comply with the 'chav' image dictated to him. He wished to show his bosses that he was a maturing young man of style, intelligence, class, and good manners.

Simon sneered at the door where Louis would shortly enter his sanctum sanctorum. "God, Richard, how I love being rich and powerful" he intoned. His associate, comfortably seated in a leather armchair, lit his excellent cigar and puffed. These two excessively self-confident men were nastily looking forward to the interview.

"Mr.Tomlinson to see you sirs," announced the office manager ushering Louis into the plush office. Lou felt that the two men would really like him to bow or tug his forelock like a Medieval serf. They turned their calculating gazes at him and Richard pretended to be surprised.

"Dressing off-type today, are we Tomlinson? What is the occasion?" Richard mocked. 

"Have a seat Louis" Simon said benevolently as though he were a feudal Lord welcoming his favorite vassal come to pay his taxes. Of course there was no available chair. "Better here in the warm, than slogging along outside in the miserable wet," Simon continued as if he cared a fig if employees got wet, or cold, overheated, or extremely ill. Louis finally spied an uncomfortable, stiff backed chair tucked into a corner, brought it forward and lowered himself down. Mr. 'Sinister' lowered his eyes to the open folder on his desk, and Louis said a quick prayer rcalled from childhood. Simon smiled his best snake-like smile.

"Thank you for coming in today. We want to get your thoughts about a fantastic new promotional strategy we two have devised to boost 1D's next album's sales". Another lizard like glance toward Lou made him feel like rising and departing. He felt his stomach contract, and dreaded whatever would come next.

"Well if it's me help your wantin', tell me more. Details are very important to me in these matters." Lou made himself look steadily at Simon. He made himself breathe slowly. He counted breath in, and counted breath out. He found a rhythm. I can do this he told himself.

"Actually no, no, Louis, the stunt will involve Harry," Simon said slowly. Lou felt an icy cold trickle down his spine. He kept eye contact with the cold and calculating eyes. "At first we offered this sugar plum to Zayn" Simon 's tone took an edge, " but he turned it down."

Richard continued, "Harry's ducked out of the public eye long enough." He pulled out a chart and began reading percentage numbers, poll results, some kind of R&D statistics... droning on while Louis madly asked himself what the fuck was going on. Simon had turned to Louis who practically had to hold on firmly to the seat of the chair. As he clasped trembling hands in his lap to conceal their shaking, he stared back into Simon's eyes. "We've been grooming Harry for superstardom for years now Lou, and there is only one little..." Simon threw back his head and shook with laughter. Richard gave him a tolerant as Simon raised his head and continued "... one little impediment. He is romantically linked with you."

"So have me run down on the street," Lou murmured. Both millionaires ignored him.

"Who would have thought our curly haired, cherubim, our sweet dimpled Harry would grow into a kind of sex god?" Simon smiled in his fake way. Louis was screaming inside. "Well, " continued Simon, "our prince charming needs a full time romance up front and personal for all those fans of his - a really 'hot' romance that will draw more new fans as well." He turned again to Richard, "how many publicly suggested notches on our Harry's bedpost?" 

"About four hundred," Richard responded flipping pages of yet another report. Then he turned to look pointedly at Lou. "So, Lou, we thought it would splendid for Harry to father a beautiful baby?? So virile...so romantic..." Lou 's mouth was now desert dry and he felt he might cough or choke because he knew this would destroy his Harry. He literally could not swallow. "Can you you believe how ungrateful it was of Zayn to refuse to cheat on Perrie, father a child, reconcile and adopt his love child??. Think of what gorgeous wedding pictures we would have had! There would be beautiful Perrie nuzzling a picture perfect infant, and Zayn gazing down paternally through those lashes." Richard sighed dramatically, and Simon shook his head in complete agreement.

Lou felt like he was going to either die, or his head would explode!!

Simon spread about glossy pics on his desk and elaborated. "Just think how a baby-daddy scandal will shut Harry's closet doors??" Had Simon just hissed those words Louis wondered? Was he the personification of psychopathic evil, or was Lou hallucinating.

"What is her name? Is she a new model; I don't recognize this young woman, " he chose his words carefully. He reflected that he could stop off at a church on his way home. His Nan believed in the efficacy of prayer. Younger generations could learn from their great parents he reflected, yes he would pray, really pray. Because he also thought, this would be horrible for Harry. Harry was struggling to widen his golden cage, not shrink it. "Wool gathering are we Tomlinson?" asked Richard in that cool off-handed upper class way that reminded you of your place very effectively.

Simon leaned towards him. Bile pooled at the back of Lou's throat. Memories flickered of happier days than this. Simon was speaking and he had to focus. He had to focus. "When Harry is singing "No Control" every female in the arena is giving him their 'yes-yes-eyes' . Will the G. P. believe Harry and this beautiful girl hooked up and made a baby? Absolutely! no questions asked, Louis, and why? Because your boyfriend comes off as sexually ambiguous, and most girls love a challenge." Simon grinned his Cheshire Cat grin.

Richard interjected "think of how much Harry loves babies."

Louis did. In the darkness of his inner mind, Louis shouted that yes, he knew his dearest loved little new babies, and plump nine month olds, toddlers learning to walk and four month olds blowing bubbles. And by the way you s.-o.-b.s, Harry sings No Control to me!

Simon lifted yet another photo of Miss Brianna and purred "Just imagine Louis : Harry, broadshouldered, in those white jeans and one of his designer Hawaiian grandad shirts, and Little miss sweetie in a strapless black thigh high dress, looking up at Harry with her doe-eyes."

Again Richard had something to say. "Youth and sex to the max..."

Continuing, Simon advised them that Miss Brianna was signed and sealed. "Although the pregnancy will be faked, a family member will truly have a baby for stunt use." He said "We are going to have fireworks with this stunt like never before!" Simon smiled smugly.

"Uh, Louis, erm,...we...well...that is SYCO and Simon and I are just a little unsure how Harry will react to this proposal. After all he will keep avoiding haircuts." Richard sighed loudly.

"Will there be a fake marriage for Harry?" Louis managed to ask. " Will he need to be with this young woman during the faked pregnancy?" Louis stood and walked to the window. He lit a cigarette to calm his nerves. As he inhaled he could hear Harry and his dear mum making disappointing sounds. Internally he promised again to stop smoking. There were tears in his eyes, dammit, and he resolved not to give these two sadistic predators the pleasure of seeing him cry. He pictured Harry returning from his version of this selfsame meeting, hollow, red-eyed, and dead inside. He reflected that there was seldom any thing he could do for his dearest Love. This time it would be different. Louis William Tomlinson was resolved. 

"Actually Simon, Richard, I think that would be a mistake. Maybe I could talk Harry into compliance, but what then? Do you honestly think his mum, Anne, or his dad and step-dad would be silent about your little charade?" Louis returned to the uncomfortable chair, put out his cigarette, and in the firmest voice he could produce replied further, "...so you think that the public will believe their posh, intelligent, clever Harry would be taken in like that?" He ticked other names off on his fingers. "Okay. No to Zayn. No to Harry. Niall's loved because of his irrepressible sweetness. No to Niall. Liam you've made out to be very ambitious and careful. No, it will have to be me if you insist on such a harebrained scheme. There's only one obvious catch. You've made El and I out to be on the verge of engagement. I have been acting the faithful hetero boyfriend all this time. Have you asked El if she wants a baby? And would her boyfriend go along?" Now Lou looked from one older man to the other.

"Hmmmm, " Simon hummed. He turned to Richard oozing fresh excitement. "Why didn't we think of this? It's perfect. This little bastard fathers another bastard. Ooh, I like it."

As Simon smiled his nasty crocodile smile, Richard seemed to be thinking. "Tell you what Tomlinson, go get a 'cuppa' and stay in the building. We'll hammer out the details, have it typed, and you can sign before you head home". He waved dismissively at Louis who all but staggered as he rose. The enormity of what he had just agreed to do was weighing down on him like a falling weight.

 

*************

 

Head leaning against the London taxi's window Louis stared at the blur of lights in the dark night. He had trodden in the overflowing gutter and his feet were wet and cold. His heart was colder with dread at Harry's imminent reaction. "Oh my love, my love, what do I say to you? How much do I tell you? He wondered if he was in shock feeling strangely light at the minute. Is this how Liam felt out on the ledge, detached from all that is real, fear having hollowed him out for one day too long..."

*****************************


	8. Kiwi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lou arrives home emotionally battered, I give him my avatar altho RBB objects, the sweethearts are dismayed by the baby-daddy plan, Harry questions The Almighty and we receive a Heavenly Angel Text from Gabriel "chewing us out", and our lovers amazingly strengthen their love

Louis continued staring at the dark wet London streets streaked with neon reflections as the taxi sped him homeward. He slumped down ignoring the amiable conversation of the cabbie. His wet feet were making him shiver despite the car's quite decent heater. Tears slid from his eyes as he tried one phrase after another in his head to explain to Harry the horror that 2015 was going to be.

"I think it's time for Lou to find a real SBB," I said apparating a soft rainbow hues cuddly plush avatar of myself next to Lou.

"What do you think you're doing?" RBB roared in my ear. "It's not time for this!" 

"Hey we are not Grizzly Bears, RBB," I responded. "Lower the volume, would you? Please." I attempted self-restraint and nudged the rainbow furry closer to Lou's fingers. 

"Noooooo!" my trusted friend and angel-in-training colleague moaned.

The taxicab pulled to a stop on the lads' street as the half open curtains fell closed. Then an explosion of lean 'bambi' limbs, delicious aromas, cries of joy, and boundless energy pelted from the beautifully painted front door of the domicile. In no time at all, Harry had extracted Louis, his umbrella and leather business bag, my 3D self, and some cookies in a paper bag from the vehicle. Wondrously he propelled the total mass into the home's hall. Then just as efficiently he took the brolly and Burberry to hang in the closet, while Lou stumbled into the lounge loosening his tie. We watched happily as pure overgrown puppy Harry wrapped Louis in a huge embrace as tipping them both onto the sectional. "Lord you're cold !" exclaimed H. He wriggled round on Lou's lap and placed his warm hands on Louis's cheeks to warm them. A second later he drew back and softly said, "Luv you've been crying."

Of course our Louis prevaricated and tried to tell his dearest friend and true love that they were happy tears from remembering their Commitment Ceremony. However Harry would not accept his white lies. "Yes, you are completely correct my Dear One", Lou kissed Harry's fingers and palms. "The meeting was shit, and I feel like I've been through a chipper."

"Then ," Harry said, "we need to decide. My absolutely gorgeous roast, with mash, and haricots Verte, some super red wine and lots of cuddling here in front of the fire, or grim discussion first, while the dinner loses flavor." Almost against himself, Lou laughed. "So delicious dinner first," Harry grinned and skipped, yes that is what he did, H. skipped off to prepare two trays. Meanwhile Lou pulled off the sodden shoes and socks placing them before the fire, and rummaged for slippers. He found a neatly folded fleece hoodie, and removed his business attire, drawing on his favorite garment before the best husband in the world returned with their dinner.

**************

Snuggled close, finishing their wine, Lou began explaining the awful meeting. "Don't hide anything from me," Harry's murmured. "You always say you'll be completely forthcoming, anan then you won't disclose some thing or other that you think will cause me suffering or worry." He looked deeply into Lou's eyes. Louis found himself looking away. 

" I promise to do my best, Curly Locks, Heart of My Heart, but you know Simon..." he let his words trail off. 

"Of course I know Simon and his devious Machiavellian sadistic plots, Lou. That's why I want to be your equal partner now, not the one you want to protect." Harry gripped Lou's cold hands. "This must be pretty fucking bad because you are trmbling my brave Boo." 

Then we two bears heard Louis describe the meeting that we had silently witnessed earlier. Of course he omitted the part about Harry being the intended 'baby-daddy'. Harry cringed during the nasty anti-Zayn bits. We could see Louis gather himself to announce he would carry the stunt. 

Devoted Haz gasped. They held each other for a long moment. There were torrents of tears. "Guess you and I are just too happy together Babe," Harry whispered, " guess the Universe has some kind of unknown rule that happy couples must struggle against adversity and endure one fucking heartache after another." He rose, "how about tea and bisuits?" Lou nodded giving H an extra squeeze. 

"Have I told you lately that I love you*", he sang to his dearest, who looked back eyes saying everything. 

In their kitchen Harry added the wine glasses to the dishwasher although he felt like hurling them instead. As he filled the electric kettle, and opened a cupboard door for mugs, he growled/cried to THE REALLY BIG BOSS. "Why do YOU hate us God?? Is it the gay thing?" Harry leaned against the countertop shaking in shock and grief. Then he spoke almost inaudibly, "Mum told me so many times how Jesus said you love every single one of us, even the least of us : ants, bees, moths, little fish in the sea, sparrows...Harry swallowed his tears. It really was the sweetest kind of prayer... We could tell Haz was on the brink of real, oh yeah, real deep despair. 

RBB nudged me, " well more like knocked me down," asking, "what are we going to do?" I could only shrug and look up. 

Crushed as he was Harry filled the teapot and got out a packet of chocolate biscuits, placing them next to the mugs. Taking a deep breath he wiped his eyes with a nearby towel, and gripped the tray carefully. Then he walked out of the kitchen and over to his beloved, and unlike himself, plopped the tray in Lou's lap. Hot tea sloshed, the milk jug rattled precariously, and the biscuits rolled off, completely startling Louis.

"Harold! Sit down" exclaimed his dearest Boo. Such mindless behaviour was so unlike him. Louis cleaned up the mess and eventually they sipped tea together. "What do folks in cultures do without tea?" he wondered aloud.

"Ruin their livers with hard alcohol," Harold replied without inflection. 

"Baby, angel, Curly, we will get through this." Louis sighed deeply. "It's only for a year", and in March of 2016, they'll have me take a 'paternity test' which will be negative and it will be over," Lou concluded, trying to smile.

"I have such a bad feeling about this babe, and they do nothing but lie, lie, lie to us." Harry cuddled closer. They stared into the fire. A log shifted and fell softly. Louis pulled Harry closer twisting locks of hair around his fingers, or stroking Harold's hands. At length H. sighed, then brightened" Louis, this is a Titanic night!!"

"Yeah, " Lou was lost to some vivid memory. "You're right Harold. It's time to relive Rose and Jack's heroic love. Love that transcends time."

"Do you think that the two of us could be just a little out of step with other millenials, a little 'nan and pops' when we're together??" hmmm, Boo Bear? "Shouldn't we be watching something racy, or going clubbing, or getting drunk off our asses?"

"Think you ate too many chocolate biscuits, Harold. I think we are the two luckiest ... most in love blokes in rainy old England. Up to bed". Louis was Rhett Butler tonight to Harry's Scarlet O'Hara. He kissed his true love passionately and swept them off dramatically to their bedroom, their film, and and maybe even a little role playing.

 

 

RBB'S pocket erupted with a trumpet solo. "Oh no it's Gabriel. Elohim, deliver us! " we gasped. RBB grabbed the rainbow texts that flowed out like water in the desert. "Gabriel is very displeased." RBB announced. " Oh no, oh no, we are in very big heaps of trouble."


	9. Little White Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which our hero's set off on tour in 2015...can't say much good about that

Disembarking into Australia's warm air a few days after Harry's incredible 21st birthday party, Louis sqeezed H.'s shoulder affectionately, "we have to make another flight like that one young Harold". Harry smiled, opening the new vent in his shirt to let in more cooling air. (RBB and I agreed that the two were glowing, but that was a rather raggedy vent.) As the 'paps' snapped and called out various wishes, amazingly nothing seemed to bother our lads. And so we traversed the tarmac and headed into the terminal.

Hours later they joined Liam, Zayn, and Niall in a suite to discuss the next few shows. "Should we jot down some possible impromptu comments?" Liam asked. Already in performance mode, he was ready to go over the flow of the stage layout when Zayn groaned.

"Can we just catch up with each other?"Zayn offered and pushed away a tray of raw veg. snacks. "Must the four of you be trying to force food on me every chance you get?" Picking up a mug of mint tea, he turned to Niall, " how's the knee holding up lad? You have to be angry that the surgery didn't fix your kneecap problem?" Niall shrugged, he was recording. Liam offered Zayn sugar for his tea. "Lima Bean " he addressed Liam James, brushing the sugar bowl away. "I appreciate mate, that you fookin' care, and you're concerned about me health," Zayn paused lit a cigarette, and inhaled, " but you really are making me crazy." Louis was observing that Zayn really did look even thinner when suddenly Zayn slammed down his mug ,peppermint tea sloshing on Liam. "You lot can't imagine what Simon and SYCO have asked me to do!"Zayn shouted. Liam was looking at his best mate in total shock, and well, the rather warm liquid seeping through his jeans wasn't helping. Now Zayn was on his feet, sobbing "I won't f______g do it!! I won't! F___ them! F___ them all!" Niall placed one phone on a far table and pulled out his second for maximum effectiveness in journaling this latest crisis. Louis and Harry were speaking in low murmurs, and Haz was massaging Zayn 's neck. But their distraught friend pulled away and a torrent of words poured out. Louis looked down sadly, for he was already familiar with this tale of sorrow. "I feel so guilty " Zayn choked out as his story ended. 

Niall exclaimed "Mary Mother of 'Jay-sus' and all the angels, so that's what's been eatin' ya alive!" As Liam wrapped comforting arms around his suffering friend. Harry murmured to Zayn soothingly while shooting Niall a pointed 'cultural-insensitivity-Niall-James' look. 

Haz remarked to Zayn, " Remember our discussion about how overuse of spirits only deepens despair"? 

Niall chirped, "we recorded that too." 

Now it was Louis' turn to give Harry his 'Depression-Insensitivity-Harold-Look'. Both frowned at each other as Niall pivoted his recording device from one to the other. 

Louis now spoke to the group. "It's alright Z. It's been discussed and decided. I'm going to do their PR stunt. " He repeated softly but firmly, " I'm going to do the stunt. I will be the pretend father of a non-existent baby to stir up attention and boost album sales." Zayn collapsed into Liam. He was completely deflated, and stared blankly at the window. Everyone exchanged heartsick, bewildered or shocked looks, but Louis tugged Harry by the arm and together they began backing out of the room. "We'll talk about the show in the morning," Louis called as he pulled Niall out as well.

In the hallway, Niall stood clasping his two phones. Louis looked at him as if seeing him clearly for the first time that night. "Good Gawd Harold, Niall's got out the second recording phone," Louis gasped.

 

 

Breakfast next morning included Louis' pretend girlfriend, Eleanor Calder, just arrived from the airport.  
"

" ...'s milsh ree''in wa'm" Louis attempted to say happily chewing his cereals. Eleanor slitted her eyes giving him a disgusted look. Harry raised red puffy eyes to her and scowled in her direction. 

She responded raising her brows quizzically. "Look Harold I don't want to be here any more than you lot want me here. And as for you 'Lew-iss', if you choke on that enormous mouthful you are chewing like ""cud", you overgrown child, I will not be the one saving you from choking to death!"

Harry cut the fruit on his plate into smaller and smaller pieces. Usually he really enjoyed Australia's Kiwi, pineapples, melons, and tropical fruit. Nialler took a last bite of his eggs and toast and eyed Haz's uneaten portion hopefully. Eleanor glared at him. She compressed her lips holding in some choice insult she was choosing not to snap at the innocent lad. He attempted a grin, noticing her warm scrambled eggs lay untouched also. 

El 's self-control snapped, " Don't they ever feed you Niall?!?" Finishing her Hawaiian Kona coffee, she rose quickly to head for her room. Uncertain about what her foot was resting on, El abruptly looked about wildly. Her right foot had landed on Niall's guitar case, not a raised part of the floor. She wobbled as her upraised left foot frantically sawed at air seeking solid purchase. Then her shin barked the metal serving cart parked near their table. She was rocking on that right foot, when Niall, oblivious to her distress and trying to protect his beloved guitar, pulled the case to him. El found something to stand on but sadly it was curved and moved. Losing her balance completely she grabbed for the table but only grasped white linen. So she crashed onto the table. Harry retrieved the coffee server and his mug preventing possible burns, Louis grabbed his cereal, and very quickly Niall picked up the server full of scrambled eggs. Sadly all else, together with Eleanor, went down in a crash of girl, breakfast, cutlery, and china. 

The three lads looked down in complete surprise at Eleanor on the carpet, now wearing their once lovely breakfast. "Oh poor Eleanor, all those heavy, messy things have fallen on your little fragile legs" Harold said in feigned sympathy. "Does it hurt?" 

From the floor a shocked El looked up at them, down at her ruined frock and hose, and felt anger rising inside. She absolutely roared "Lew-iss! You and your fucking balls!!" Then she moaned as tears came, "This is all your fault!" He did not continue eating, but ran to fetch ice and clean towels for her. As she began wailing two waiters rushed in to assist. 

Harry slowly picked his way to her side to help her up. He whispered in her ear as he got her steady on her feet, " not that you care, but I think Lou's balls are f______ lovely ..." El turned and froze him with an icy look. The waiter blushed a deep red. Niall was pleased to have got that bit recorded. Liam and Zayn rushed in, took one horrified look at the wreckage of breakfast, and joined El in deeply felt moans of distress. 

Later that night Liam, Louis, and El were dining in a restaurant featuring great live music. Louis thought to himself "this music is so loud it's shaking my skull and making my poor brain vibrate." Aloud he said, "My head really hurts." 

El gazed pityingly at him. "I think it's the 4 beers, and 7 shots you've downed that are causing the pain in your head" she remarked indifferently. 

Liam suddenly caught a fragment of their conversation. "Tommo, this a real jam!" he smiled. If someone could dance sitting down, Lou thought it would be Liam, then surveying El' s expression, he remembered a painting of a martyr he'd seen every Sunday, when young. Hmm he reflected. 

"I don't think our guest is enjoying herself," he suggested to Liam. 

"Quite right," El said. She rose to call a cab. 

Lou leaned toward his friend, "the room is spinning Liam." Liam gave up on staying longer. 

The next time Louis opened his eyes it seemed they were right outside their hotel. "Must have had a little nap on the way", he said to no one in particular. Liam began half dragging, half- carrying him out of the vehicle and toward the large doors ahead. "Uh oh," tipsy Lou said, "are we staying on a boat?" Liam groaned. El held the doors open as Louis half walked inside. 

"No, no, no," Liam muttered seeing fans and photographers gathered by the elevators. 

El reached for Louis' hand and gave him a vicious squeeze. Behind her fake smile she whispered "wakey, wakey, you lush". 

He snatched his hand from hers, and blearily said,"I'm gay, it's pretty unfortunate, isn't it Eleanor?" 

Liam gasped, "I can't believe you just said that". 

One of their handlers growled, "would you like to be quiet?" 

As soon as the elevator doors shut, El sighed dramatically. " I said it this morning, I said it again at the beach, and I'm saying it again now - I am so done." 

You may ask where we bears were all this while. We were standing by watching one disaster after another unfold. Sometimes that is all a guardian angel in training can do.


	10. Fool's Gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which our heros attempt early exercise, then are confronted by Mrs. Menace and SYCO henchmen...the Bears are beside themselves...literally ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems like a good time to remind you gentle readers that this is a work of fiction which sprang from my fervid brain. No character or twist of plot is in any way realistic, biographical or scientific. Whimsy, magic, and a pinch of old fashioned movie styled religion, set on another earth in another part of the multiverse unfold here just for your reading pleasure. I hope you are enjoying reading as much as I am enjoying writing. 
> 
>  
> 
> P.S.My Dear editor and grandchild is the best!!

Deep in another dimension a solitary figures paces cursing half the sentient beings in the multiverse. Should we draw closer and have a listen? No not yet. We don't want to be apprehended spying on his Horribleness.

****************  
One of Australia's beautiful dawns glowed lilac, rose and gold through the translucent sheers on the bedroom window - waking Louis. "Forgot to close the drapes last night", he mumbled to himself. And "ow" what a headache he had. Such nightmares had plagued him that he had been almost afraid to open his swollen eyelids, but no drooling snarling wild dogs greeted him. There was his dearest, huffing slightly in his sleep, curls lying on his damp forehead. His beautiful lashes lay quiet on those rosy cheeks, and Louis recalled that he was the most blessed bloke in the world. So of course he leaned over, causing an anvil to fall on his head, and kissed his Harold. Last night he'd found him asleep on the loveseat in the sitting area of their room waiting up, eyes puffy from watching Titanic again, comforter damp by his chin. Had his baby been crying last night because of another of these forced 'dates'? Just as his Guilt, ever-ready-to-swamp-his -psyche, was flexing for a true panic attack, Harry opened his sea green eyes and smiled. 

Lou's "Fuzzy-Wuzzykins" was of course completely wide awake instantly, unlike himself. "Time for our run," Hqarold grinned.

Ten minutes later Lou was wondering why the ground in Australia was so f_____g hard underfoot. Every step he ran jarred his spine from tailbone to head. And Harry, traitor to Louis at this moment, was turning around to smile. "How can he do that?" his mate wondered. Naturally the Aussie body guard was singing Rogers and Hammerstein. "Oh what a beautiful morning..."which he projected in a rich baritone as he cycled beside them. "Oh why did say I would do this?" Louis sang along under his breath.

"Didn't catch that Lou..." Harold chirped. Louis made a snap decision. RBB running next to me read his mind, shook his wise head, and groaned. Lou smiled at the Aussie, making bike riding motions to the guard.

"Mate can I please ride your bike for a bit?", our hungover lad pleaded. Grumpily the guard passed Louis the bicycle, and we watched him wobble away, catching up to Harry. The guard jogged along muttering to himself. Harry shot Lou a quizzical look, but ran steadily on. A little while later as SBB was comfortably perched on the handlebars the bears were alarmed to see Lou begin nodding off, half pedaling and half coasting. RBB, on his shoulder tried mental telepathy " Stay awake!!!! You're on a bike!" To their horror Louis'eyes fell shut and stayed shut. A hand fell off the handlebars, his head was coming down, the bike was turning, and with a severe jerk, we were in the grass. Lou was tangled up in the bike, and a knee was bleeding. Of course we bears jumped clear, and RBB landed under his head and kept Lou from a concussion. 

As Harry dashed back to a groaning Lou, we heard the guard mumble "Effing moron". H. dropped down feeling Louis' arm and legs for sign of breakage, and the Aussie radioed the hotel for a golf cart. Spotting the injured knee, H. exclaimed" Oh my Boo Bear!" He was trying to extract him from the twisted metal frame only to be stopped by the guard. "

"Let our emergency medical tech. sort him out," he ordered much to Harry's dismay. As for Louis, he just wanted to crawl back in bed with an ice pack or two and some paracetamol. Maybe a nice coffee to wash the aspirin down.  
( Little did we know Management had arrived with their own agenda.)

 

*****************  


As they approached Liam, Niall, and Zayn's suite, Harry lovingly linked his arm with Louis. A sunbeam flashed gold highlights into H.'s hair, and Louis kissed his curls. "Just say the word, any time, and I'd give all of this up," said Harry. Louis' heart almost burst with love for his Harold. He kissed his neck, and was about to continue toward H.'s mouth, when Harry protested, " I'm all sweaty Luv."

"Nah, you smell like fresh Fall apples." After a quick kiss, they pulled open the door inhaling the delicious coffee smell. Louis actually stumbled from the sight that met their eyes. It was sufficient to shock every particle of happiness from their mutual souls. On the hotel sofa sat "the Terminator squad" so named by a variety of You-Tubers who had seen them in action. Worst of all - there pacing the thickly carpeted floor was their very least favorite SYCO Henchwoman and psychological torturer ( PR Professional and amateur shrink) - Anne Marie Samson. Dressed in black designer pantsuit, claws painted blood red, matching black stilettos carrying her as she reviewed her notes, she was their own "Cruella". Her perfume triggered Lou and Harry's personal recollections of unrelieved mental and emotional abuse. They shivered frozen in place. Slouched in the furthest armchair sat Zayn chainsmoking next to an overflowing ashtray of sorts. Liam was perched on the arm of Zayn's chair visibly worrying. He snatched a lit cigarette from Zayn and inhaled. Niall frowned and positioned his phones to catch every word.

Louis and Harry sat down meekly on the floor, which seemed to delight their interrogator. They looked over at Zayn who looked away. His obvious unhappiness permeated the cloud of smoke around him and he was lighting up again. "Wait, Lou whispered to H.," ... isn't he lighting a joint?" Zayn shrugged across the room at him. His expression seemed to say, ' This is...the only...way... I can endure ...this.' Liam noticed too, and snatched the blunt from Zayn's fingers. Zayn pulled another from behind his ear, and lit it as well. Niall turned a phone and got a close up of the stress smoking in the corner.

Sniffing the air, the Terminator Squad glared at Zayn and Liam. Anne Marie walked over fixing him in her laser stare. "So,"she frowned," BIG Bad press too rough on you? Working too hard? Don't like all the tour dates we scheduled for you?" She fake sniffed. "You want out, Little Paki?" she asked condescendingly.

Liam leaped to his feet. He wanted to stare her right in the eyes. She was sadly, taller in her designer heels. " Hey ! Look we spend all our time, traveling, performing, rehearsing, doing interviews and Meet'n'Greets, and writing and recording! YOU KNOW THAT! " He looked to the other lads who were nodding. "AND who are you to be making racial slurs?"

She only smiled and did not respond. Zayn pulled Liam down. Louis spoke up now. "We asked Simon for a professional counselor, because we're burning out! " He turned toward Liam, Zayn, and Niall : "We are seriously worn out. Maybe some of us aren't eating or sleeping as we should. We're exhausted and we need some professional help so SYCO can keep raking in the big bucks."

Anne Marie looked down at Harry and Louis, " but Simon sent you me." She smiled insidiously. Niall choked on his mug of tea. They all simultaneously gasped. Cruella as a counselor was just about the cruelest joke Simon could play on them. 

Into the shocked silence, Harry spoke. "Thank you Anne Marie, but no thank you. We asked for a trained psychologist, a Ph.D. It would be nice to see a psychiatrist a few times and discuss medication possibilities, but..."

Liam had whispered in Zayn's ear, "You're sure that's a word?" Zayn nodded. Liam drew his eyebrows down thinking. Then he leaned to Louis sharing a few puffs of 'medicinal weed' with him. He mouthed to him 'you don't look so good' 

Louis reflected that with his increasingly awful headache of course he did not look good. 

Harry continued where he had paused, "Anne Marie you aren't considering even half the strain we've been feeling. We get anxious about making a mistake in our performances, or hitting a wrong note, or saying something that let's the Fans down..." He went on, "even though we diet we worry we have gained too many pounds, or that a big zit won't be coverup-able, " he exchanged nods with his friends. " We worry about imperfections so much we get afraid of the mirror, or can't keep from checking compulsively all day." Harry sagged against Louis. 

Now Zayn spoke up. "How would you feel if you are never allowed to sing as your gut tells you? Every time you do your S.M. time you find out the next day some SYCO sycophants has changed so much of what you wrote, it's not your message any more? And how would you like that your dietary requests are so often ignored that food service tries to convince you that pork is chicken? " His voice was rising," and every day it's broccoli and pork, broccoli and ham, broccolli and pork! " he wailed.

Anne Marie's stiletto heel crunched into Liam's foot, as she gathered herself to answer Zayn, not Harry. 

Liam objected, " What...?" 

Anne Marie absolutely scowled down, "Shut up! Dyslexic!"

"You can't call Liam names like that!" Niall burst out. Now Anne Marie stepped on Zayn's foot slowly and deliberately while turning to focus on Niall. Zayn audibly winced. Harry and Louis gasped. 

She curled her lips as she said "Not now Niall." 

Then to Zayn she said dripping acid with each word, " As soon as there is time we want you on a plane ... to Corporate." She turned to Harry and then his Lou. 

Her focus riveted on Lou " HOW COULD YOU USE THE G... WORD last night? Do you have any idea of the damage control we are doing right now?!? And your timing could not possibly have been worse since El's contract is ending?!!" Suddenly the boys realized that El was sitting very quietly in the furthest corner and that her legs were indeed showing bruises from yesterday's breakfast mishap. She was looking down at her feet. 

Anne Marie bent slightly down to give Lou the full force of her venomous words. "El will be moving on from you. Thought you would out yourself and Harry so you two could walk around in a romantic Haze? We can't, in fact, no, we won't let people know that we have two flaming queers in this band, madly in love with each other! Do you understand my words Tomlinson? " Harry began to cry absolutely silently. "You and Harry are contractually closeted. Harry is our rising star and YOU with your off-putting homosexual lovey-dovey looks in Harry's direction night and day, are breaking your CONTRACT!" 

 

Liam muttered softly "you mean you don't want SYCO and Sony to feel the public scorn and disapproval that companies that forcibly closet teenagers in their young adult years usually receive." Anne Marie gave Liam an "I-will-get-you-my-pretty-and-your-little-dog-too" look, and he shrank into himself.

Returning to Louis, she pronounced, "You will accompany Zayn to L.A. because Corporate wants to chat with you too, Tomlinson." The Terminator Squad rose as one on her cue. "Believe me Big Stars, I have spoken. And as Pharoah said, "So has it been spoken; so shall it be done." Turning on her five inch heel, she left them stunned. Even El's eyes filled with tears. 

 

Harry and Louis were reconfiguring RBB 's avatar from Build-a-Bear. "He is our Spartacus. There will be a rebellion and he will lead the gay music slaves to fight against the oppressive Music Industry" Lou said. Harry was applying tape to the SBB avatar. "Lou you do remember what happened to Spartacus?" Louis hugged the big bear fiercely. "Not this time Harold, not this time."


	11. Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we learn Eleanor's contract ended, and the group parted amicably after all with gifts... and RBB and SBB observe the beginnings of the truly awesome wardrobe for their plush avatars...we discover that Satan/ Lucifer gets really annoyed by all the happiness and love emanating from I D concerts and he TAKES !! ACTION!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gentle readers, again let me say this is a totally fictitious story. Imagine the multiverse, or just get a headache trying to imagine multiple realities overlapping like petals on a peony. There now you understand how imaginary this little tale is. All the love in my aged heart to you,  
> Your author

The night after the band sang "Stayin'Alive" for Louis to celebrate his and Eleanor's official parting of their ways, Harry and Lou were watching "The Notebook" and reciting dialogue to one another. " Ahm'm glad El liked her gold charm bracelet so much, " Harry said warm and happy in Louis' arms. 

Yeah", mumbled Lou. "We chose those charms well, dontcha think?" Lou responded positively again. "Sometimes I really hated her, Boo Bear. And that felt scary. I don't like feeling so much anger that I feel like a human volcano!!" 

Lou kissed the back of his beloved's neck, " You would never pour out pyroclastic flows Luv, you just rumble and growl and maybe throw things. Anyway we need to put that behind us because I have a feeling that what they have planned for this year and next year will keep us apart longer, hurt us more horribly, and wring most of the joy out of everyday life." 

Harry rolled over gripping Lou's hands. "Promise me that we will focus on the present each time we're together like you 've always said. " 

" Oh Harold , let's not make promises we might not have the strength to keep. Right now, right here , I love you with all that I am." Harry gazed lovingly at Lou and signed 'and I love you." 

 

 

 

RBB and I really loved the collection of clothes Louis and Harry were acquiring for our plushie 3D selves. "Which is your favorite?" I asked RBB. "Hmmmm, " he rumbled, " Well the biker outfit is very high on my list. And look at the selection of shoes!" 

"Yes," I agreed. " How long will they be able to communicate with the fans before Simon/SYCO catch on and shut them down?," we mused. "Let's do everything we can to help ,Maybe we can distract or, deflect interest from hostile parties using all of our telepathic skills." RBB and SBB smiled enormously together , "Freddie Mercury put in a stint leading our gay angel choirs recently and I have a strong feeling we'll have help with the ESP and telepathy thing." 

" Hey look they've bought a beauty parlor chair, and horse for riding, and what's that? A jeep, a car? " So RBB and I focused on good and humorous things and I thought to myself, that RBB - that's my best buddy, is always one for encouragement in the most impossible situations. 

 

  

  

In another dimension, Satan savored his Expresso. Any angel would love this dark rich velvety beverage. Too soon he had consumed a pot full. So he sent an electric message to the minions. Then he impatiently waited. His reflection was mirrored in the obsidian and jet inlaid walls. Very quickly Mephistopheles appeared with a silver salver and an extremely fresh pot of the brew. Well I mean we can't really call it the nectar of the gods can we? So it'll just be called Expresso. 

Mephistopheles inhaled the coffee's rich aroma. His immortal mind traveled in time to many happy moments spent imbibing one of humankind's best inventions. He leaned forward unconsciously to breathe even more of the Arabic beverages perfume. 

Sadly Satan snapped at him. "I caught that last bit, Mephi. Wool gathering again, needing more Focus Exercises. No, not more, ... not reallly...good! And stop looking at my delicious coffee so longingly." Satan slitted his eyes at Mephistopheles and pulled the latest Apple IPhone out of the air. He asked " When I check our very latest numbers, Mephi" (that Demonic Minion cringed - he so hated nicknames) " What do I find? Hmmmmmm?a statistically significant increase in souls headed for Our Dimensions?" Now Lucifer was staring right in Mephistopheles' unhappy face. " I don't think so" He showed the screen's disappointing numbers to the Diabolical District Manager for Planet Earth. 

Luce/Lucifer leaned back and addressed his Numero Dos, ...and our numbers are down because???" Mephistopheles literally stuttered, " It's that One. 1Direction group your Hate-filled Horribleness. They love their audiences who just love them back and then it's a human synergistic energy thing. They just keep geometrically increasing the happiness and love and healthy self-esteem feelings to ridiculously high levels." He shrugged. "Those 1Direction concerts seem to inoculate vast portions of young humans against bitterness and despair. "

Now Satan was making the entire room shake and Mephi was bouncing about on his backside. "So your interventions with our man Cowell's team haven't created sufficient disharmony and discord among the 1D lads yet!'" he boomed. "And don't try blaming Cowell's ineptitude for YOUR FAILURES!" Satan filled the walls with lightning and Mephistopheles' hair sparked painfully. "Just because Malik exerted his ( shudder) free will and refused Cowell's stunt doesn't mean you are excused of BLAME!" 

Your Dark and Dismal Discordance," pleaded Mephistopheles crawling under Satan's massive Black Hole enameled desk, "Cowell's next idea, suggested by yours truly, will cause even more misery among the lads. It will tear those two paragons of sappy human Love and Devotion out of each others' arms." Satan calmed to the level of a Force 4 tornado on planet Earth. Mephistopheles groveled pitifully. 

Satan kicked him across the office. Then he opened the "Baby Daddy "file on his IPhone and read. "Hmmmm, My Praetor of persecution, pestilence, and penury, perhaps this new plan will work." There was a rumbling sound which was Satan laughing, chuckling to himself. " The 'Ickle Sweethearts separated and suffering. I like that." He sat down gracefully and smirked. "There will be no joy in 1D-ville with Zayn exiled under a pall of Lies and Bad feelings. How will Rainbow Styles dance about now?" And he smiled a truly terrible smile, snapped manicured Demonic fingers and sent Mephistopheles back to earth. Taking a deep breath he began to plan what he would do with the lads after they signed his contract, created discord everywhere, and died dismally of drug overdoses. 'I could recycle them to Beta Centauri, ' he mused, 'the Centauri are mad for music and become absolutely maniacally destructive in their music trances."


	12. Woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Mephistopheles whispers more nasty ideas into Simon's unconscious mind, while Louis and Zayn are flown to LA to be "set straight about such things as choices..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So gentle readers, we now know who 1D's truest enemy is in my story. And a more truly heartless villain than Satan, Lord of discord, distress, and despair we are unlikely to find. But let ' s not abandon hope.

Overall the concerts went well except for Zayn's increasing anxiety and depression. PR had planned Lou's rotten behaviour to El betraying the golden memory of their longstanding relationship very well, including a meet up with a strange girl in a pool. This had concluded with a smoldering kiss caught "accidentally" by a stray photographer. Lou and Harry had taken umbrage at the notion of Lou French kissing a strange woman! So Harry had come up with a plan. Right before the "Kiss" Louis would fill his mouth with redhots -as many as he could tolerate. Thus the young lady would decline a lengthy kiss. Problem solved. Sadly it didn't not go well. She had turned out to be hypersensitive to cinnamon, and after but a few phony tenths of a second broke away with her poor lips swelling painfully. Louis had received another dressing down and no puddingfor two days.

Now Louis and Zayn were heading for L.A. on a beautiful jet. A few hours into the flight Louis opened his eyes to see that the windows were as water streaked as Zayn's face. After dashing to the loo, he looked into the mirror over the sink. "I'm such a failure," he mumbled. Then he thought, 'no, no, no, no negative self-talk I'm here for Zayn, and to help him I gotta be positive.'

He slid into the seat next to Zayn and rang for some hot tea for them. "Zayn, mate, try to clear your mind. Our tea will come, and we'll do some Yoga breathing like Harry tries to get us to do." They did. "Feel better," Louis inquired. 

"No, not really," replied his friend. 

"Well, maybe more sleep will help." 

Zayn gazed balefully at Lou "What sleep?" Napping again, they woke when it was breakfast. 

Afterward as they rose to exit, Lou turned to Zayn," I'm so sorry mate. Somehow I feel like this is all my fault." 

Zayn caught Lou's neck in a choke hold. "No mate! And your hair looks fine, leave your fringe alone."

***********

 

A few hours later bathed, and changed the two prepared to meet with 'The Suits'. Lou tried to refresh his fringe. Zayn stayed his hand," You look fine. Besides do you think they really look at us?" 

"Oh, gawd, " Louis spotted Anne Marie. At first Lou found it impossible to focus so he skimmed the sheaf of papers they'd been handed. As he was examining the fine print's Fine Print, he realized the droning voice had stopped. Anne Marie was looking at him sharply. Zayn was looking sick. They began discussing Perrie's break-up songs. Wait a minute! Those two were still engaged, for Z. had refused to do the man-whore stuff asked of him. That was Louis job now. "

" How can ' my boyfriend cheated on me and he's a fail in bed song's be written already for Little Mix?" Zayn asked angrily.

Management was describing 'out-all-night-clubbing' scenarios for Zayn and Lou and offering illicit drugs to them. 'What ?!' thought Lou ' getting them drunk night after night wasn't enough bad press?' This young man whose activities they were gleefully describing was not the Louis William Tomlinson who lived in Lou's skin. 

Zayn jumped to his feet, hands clutching the table. Louis was trembling, shaking with revulsion. "Just you wait a moment! His voice rose, "You hired us to sing and perform, to sell recordings and charm the public. You worked us night and day to engage in social media, help write "This Is Us " type books, and make a so-called documentary. You hired us to sing! Dammit!" Pounding a fist down so hard the glasses leapt, and the pens rolled, he all but shouted, "and now you want Louis and me to commit personal image HariKiri!!! How does that fit with singing?"

"You wanted Lou and Harry to pretend to be het.s and gave them ?girlfriends? OK. Of course you won't let me have a real beard, but yeah 'beards we have. What about our families, our innate preferences, our personality growth, our human rights to love and be loved? " Louis put his hand on Zayn's arm. Zayn shrugged him off, and went on although more quietly. "Were we ever human beings like you yourselves, to all of you sitting here? Or were we automatons, puppets? Have you ever seen the five of us as lads, not products? Products, yeah that is what I'm saying, you know like cattle or chickens, or cars, or ice cream bars... so you really have no respect for us. You don't respect us as performers, or singers, or even as ordinary human beings. I see clearly now - we are products for sale. Things. Things. Things."

Zayn's voice lowered to a growl. Anne Marie tried to interrupt him , but he looked at her so fiercely she actually backed up in her chair. "You know the world has come to a consensus about human rights. All of homo sapiens have the right to choose our friends, practice our religion, have an adequate amount to eat, be able to sleep at night, find life partners, fall in love. We have a right to health care and not be forced to work sick, throwing in in buckets on the side of the stage. Why did you write into our contracts that you can force us to lie, as humans we have a right to live ethical lives! We aren't your slaves! We are not your slaves! We are not your slaves!!!

He grabbed a stunned Louis by the arm and pulled him with him to the door. "Go ahead enact your draconian penalties. To the ends of the solar system and three generations from now. Eventually the truth will come out!" 

Thoughtfully Louis added, " No band before us ever toured as many days per year, sang at as many venues, or made their managers as much money. Yet you disrespect us every chance you get! You said "hey, niall, glad you're Irish, but lose the accent. Zayn we respect that you come from a Muslim heritage, but don't practice it. Hey Liam can't you lose more weight? Thin as you are we want you thinner. Harry, you and Louis are gay - great but the two of you are now in a steel and concrete closet. Don't you dare show your love for each other!"

The tallest suit rose. He pronounced "That will be enough. Shut up you brainless bastard." 

Louis replied mock politely "Yeahr right, sir, so you lot write, sing, and perform in our places. You can be a new group 'fuck head and the shits'. They slammed the door as they departed.

 

 

 

As Louis and Zayn pulled up to their hotel, Lou noted Zayn' s parlor. He squeezed his hand finding it cold and clammy. "They're gonna boot me out. I can feel it." Zayn muttered. Louis came around and helped his friend out. Looking up at the ornate hotel, lush plantings, and extended carpeting on the sidewalk Lou wondered why prison movie themes were playing in his mind. 

Lou put his arm around Zayn as they walked to their adjoining rooms. "Isn't this carpet soft zayn?" He opened Zayn's door for him, and helped him into a comfy chair. "Lemon fizz beverage?" he asked, and poured some in a real glass. "First class place this ," he commented. Then departed through the adjoining door to text Harry. But before he could get more than a few words down, he heard muffled fetching sounds, and ran to help Zayn.


	13. Meet Me in the Hallway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zayn's intestinal distress only gets worse until Louis calls for a doctor...Simon and Anne Marie catch up on her meeting with Z. and L. ...stress attacks Louis too who meets Mephistopheles briefly ...he sees the doctor can finally text the other lads in Japan, who respond with "Say what"???

When Louis got to Zayn's bathroom, he saw his friend and bandmate was 'in a bad way'. As Zayn continued to retch, Lou grabbed a face rag and ran it under the cold water, wrung it out, and pressed it against Zayn's throat. "Can you hold this bro?" Then Louis dashed into Zayn's room, picked up a blanket, and returned to him wrapping it around his shoulders. 

"I don't need your help ," said, Zayn. Then Zayn gagged. Choked. Threw up again. Lou took his rag and ran it under the cold tap again. " 

" How about I get some ice chips?" 

"No, no, I ''ll be ok". He croaked. "Go away and..." he began to dry heave, "text Harry". Now Zayn was looking quite grey, and he leaned against the cool beautiful ivory tub. 

Lou shook his head in dismay, "me mum would tell me to get you some ice chips mate, so I am. Don't move," Lou called to Zayn over his shoulder. 

"Do I look like I can move," Zayn rasped. As he called the concierge for crushed ice and extra towels for Zayn, Louis decided it was time to call for medical help. Switching to his cell he called !Modest! He attempted to explain Zayn's problem to the Office manager, but was connected to Anne Marie. 

"Pardon the interruption, but Zayn is having another bout of his health issues like he had before Orlando. He needs a doctor. I can see him dehydrating." 

Anne Marie sighed. "Very well, I'll send a doctor. " She sighed even more dramatically as though this turn of events was a great burden placed on her. Then the line went dead. 

"I'll tell Zayn you asked after him," Louis told the empty room and blank phone. In five minutes Louis returned with the freshly delivered ice chips and a spoon to find Zayn shivering and shivering. "Shall I get you up and into bed?" 

No, no I don't fe...I mean my stomach is cramping so badly," Zayn responded, " ...best stay here." 

"Look why don't you try just a teaspoon of ice, " Louis asked. ( His heart really went out to Zayn who was suffering so badly.) Zayn only shook his head in the negative at the proffered bit of ice. "Well how about I make a sort of ice pack for your tummy?" Zayn groaned and accepted the offering, realizing Lou was in full Big-Brother-Mode and might as well be wearing the tee Niall'd had specially made that read "I AM THE BEST BIG BROTHER" . Time crawled for the two miserable bandmates as they waited for medical assistance. 

RBB and I were torn as to whether we should keep an eye on Simon's transatlantic call with Anne Marie and the Suits, or hover near Zayn and Lou. Finally we split up. I took the meeting and RBB conducted our small gay angel ensemble singing to the lads in the bathroom. From the dastardly dimensionsions I saw Mephistopheles apparate behind Simon. Ugh! 

"So" Simon was saying. "Those creatures I made into Pop Stars had the nerve to whine about their lives to all of you! They ranted about their rights - ¿Their Rights? !" he exclaimed. "Anne Marie reported indignantly, that Tomlinson was calling us such names as though we were the same as them?!" 

Suit #1 interrupted to say, "you should have heard Malik, Boss, you would have thought he was giving a speech at the U.N.!" 

"We'll see how he likes being totally muzzled legally," chuckled Richard Magee. 

"Yes Sir," another suit added," this amazing voice of his has carried him so far, but now people are getting bored. Fashion is definitely the next hot market!" Mephistopheles whispered in Simon's ear. I shuddered. 

"Yeessss," Simon drawled. "We 'll get two for one. As Zayn rises in the fashion world, we'll get Harry to follow our rules and stop his fashion freewheeling. And we'll satisfy Zayn's artistic ambitions in a marketable way. Those spray painted art works of his made us nothing." 

Anne Marie interjected, "we need to get those long curly locks off Harry's head. Especially the way he and Louis look at each other." 

Richard interjected, " How are the long term plans shaping up? The big break-up. Baby daddy Louis? 1D collapsing without Zayn?" (I just couldn't spy here any longer; they were making the fluff in my head burn. I sent Gabriel a text and got an angel lift back to RBB.) 

Dr. Dianne knocked firmly on Zayn's door. She really hoped Harry would be there because she was worried about vocal chord damage, and , well he was such a courteous young person. Louis answered the door with palpable relief. She said kindly " I hear Zayn's suffering pretty badly." Lou nodded and led her to where Zayn was lying on the bathroom floor curled in a fetal position on a nest of towels and bedding that had Louis's fraternal hallmark all over it. Speaking of sweethearts she had to acknowledge Louis was the real deal. She hugged him and urged him to shower and lie down while she tended to Zayn. 

Taking Zayn's wrist gently pinching for dehydration and feeling his pulse she questioned him carefully before injecting a powerful anti-emetic and pulling out a prescription for anxiety and depression. " Now Zayn " she said helping him to his bed," this bottle is labeled as a common stomach remedy. I know Simon disapproves of antianxiety meds." She gently tucked him in, "you are going to be very sleepy now, but take a spoonful of ice now. And every time you wake sip this special water that replaces electrolytes you lost just." There was a knock on the door and one of Simon's minions appeared with forms for her to sign. As the man was leaving Dr. Dianne snapped," and you can tell Simon that I appreciate his concern for Zayn and that I have him stabilized for now and will ascertain whether or not he's fit to fly in the morning." She paused," and send someone from hotel housekeeping for the dirty linen...I'd like it collected a.s.a.p." 

Next door Louis was in tee and sleep shorts trying to decide what to tell the rest of the boys. His head did ache unmercifully. In fact his jaw hurt. How odd? Hearing a strange sound, he looked up expecting the good doctor. But he saw a fiftyish , salt and pepper haired gentleman dressed by Saville Row, smiling a really odd smile at him. He leapt in bed, drawing the covers to his chin. 

Then as he was fumbling for his phone, one of those plummy British voices purred at him. " Young Tomlinson, just the man I have wanted to see." Well RBB and I were not having Lou put through any more stress!! So we buzzed right over to Mephi and bit him on his ankles. He yelped like a little girl. Louis said am not seeing this; I am not seeing this." We were about to bite Mephi again when he fled . "High five RBB" I said. 

Just then in came the dear doctor, who was greatly alarmed by Louis gibbering. She pressed a hand to his forehead and he winced. Sitting down she ran through the usual checks, paying particular attention to his ears. " Oh dear, badly infected again, you need a shot and a prescription." 

"But it's my head and jaw that really hurt" Lou said looking around for his hallucination. As she gave him an injection and a dose of headache meds Doctor Dianne soothed, "I think your ear ache just rolled it's pain into your cluster headache. Try to sleep now." She put her medical equipment equipment away and closed her bag. "I'll check on you two in the morning." Louis finally was able to text Harry. " Harold today was very difficult. Meeting was beyond bad. Zayn had another attack. My ears infected and I have clusterfuck headache. Took meds. Got shot. Must. Sleep." 

In Japan Harry gasped as he read his text. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Louis ' text reaches the other lads horrifying them, then after a rehearsal the lads discover that SYCO/Sony is throwing Zayn out of the group, later in a meeting with Mephistpheles they are offered freedom from SYCO and musical successive the sign over their souls for 500 years, an unbelievable meeting ended astonishingly by Harry....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gentle readers please do not think this is a religious tract, as I said before all of these events sprang from an overactive imagination, and too many years of Catechism in my youth.... although humans have loved the idea of benevolent spirits and winged creatures for millennia.

Liam, Niall, Harry and the musicians from the band were having lunch at a well known ramen restaurant. Everyone was waiting for their orders when Louis' text chimed on Harry's phone. The group were arguing about which ramen Naruto would have ordered, when Harry looked up with a both horrified and bewildered expression on his face. "Lou says he has a ¿clusterfuck headache?" 

9 Liam spilled his first chopstick mouthful of golden pork noodles. Josh, their drummer, barely contained a laugh. Niall, ever the medical nomenclature expert said, "I think Louis means he has a 'cluster headache'. " 

"Is that bad ?" asked Harry. 

"Well it's very painful brought on by way too much stress," Niall finished. 

Liam furrowed his brows "...And Zayn?" 

Harry looked balefully at all his friends, "I think their meeting went very badly and Zayn succumbed to the stress, followed by " he his voice grew quieter..."Louis." 

"Bug___r sod___g Management! Josh swore softly. Every head at the table nodded in agreement. ************ 

When the SYCO van came to ferry Lou and Zayn to LAX, there were two envelopes with their names typed neatly obviously from ¡MODEST!, laying on their bench seat. Louis scooped them into his backpack. "Goodbye L.A." they whispered, fistbumping. Fourteen hours later(more or less) they landed, were collected by another vehicle, and delivered to their hotel in Japan. After hasty showers and tooth care, and frustrating attempts to arrange their locks handsomely , they joined the other lads already in rehearsal. Onstage again next to Liam and the lads, Zayn realized just how much he'd missed them. Louis and Harry suddenly both needed the loo at the same time. No one harassed them for this thankfully. 

On the way back to the hotel Lou handed Zayn his envelope. "Saved them for us," he commented morosely. Zayn handed his to Liam, "open it for me will you Lima Bean? I haven't..." 

"No problem mate, " said Liam slitting open the envelope. There was first, a letter from Simon, then some forms, and third a plane ticket. 

" Well what's it say?" asked Niall, craning his neck. Liam read the letter softly. All three groaned. Then Niall read it so Harry and Louis could hear as well. 

"Simon can't mean this !?" Liam hoarsely whispered. 

"Oh, but I'm sure he does," Zayn whispered back. "After all this letter was waiting for me, in L.A. even before our meeting took place." 

Now Liam grabbed Zayn's hands, looking deeply into his eyes. "We'll fight this." 

Zayn shook his head. "No,"Zayn looked down. "Do you think I'm taking all of you down with me?" 

"What dire news does Simon have for you?" Niall inquired of Louis. Harry's eyes were brimming. "Oh just an itinerary for my next month's activities," Lou muttered, handing it over. Niall sputtered, "No way! No he can't, he shouldn't ... it isn't right?" Niall sat stunned into silence. 

When they returned to the hotel, they eschewed eating with the group, opting to eat together. 

"Management's not paying for room service for you Prima Donnas," remarked a handler. Louis smiled politely. 

" That's what personal plastic is for", he quipped in reply. So they settled in to the suite of rooms shared by Liam, Zayn and Niall. All sipped good, cold Japanese beer while waiting for their meals. Zayn and Liam were reading over the forms carefully, when Zayn lifted his head asking," How about the fans? How will the fans feel about my departure?" He closed his eyes. "Some of them are emotionally fragile, and may feel abandoned!" 

Liam grasped Zayn's hand, " You really only need some real rest. A month off, or ..." Liam choked up then. 

" Simon is sending me away." Zayn spoke more loudly "Simon is sending me away forever." 

Niall asked " ...uh, how will they spin this?" Everyone drank deeply. Harry passed everyone another beer. 

Now Niall looked at everyone in a confused way, " Louis, lads, something must be terribly wrong." Of course they all got quiet and looked around. They simultaneously gasped. "Just who the he'll is that?" 

"Who the hell indeed?" RBB and I gasped. Mephistopheles was back. 

He was perfectly attired, all Saville Row, handstitched shoes, silk socks and tie, and he sat opposite the boys like they'd invited him in. "I quite agree with all of you. All these years you've worked for SYCO, written great songs with their people, signed tens of thousands of books, made three docufilms, four albums, given hundreds of interviews...and where has it gotten you?" Mephi smiled warmly as Liam and Zayn squeezed next to Harry and Lou, who now had Niall more or less in their laps. Smoothly Mephistopheles continued, "It is wrong for Sony and their minions to break you up. Why after all these years you're practically brothers." He winked at Louis. "At the very least you are all best mates as you IrishBrits say." 

Tears dried by this shock, the boys gasped. RBB and I edged closer to the demon only to discover shin guards under his silk socks. Slitting his eyes at us Mephistopheles telepathically snarked at us, "Foiled again Little Furry Angel Wanna Bes." We ground our tiny teeth and sent an 'A'mail to Archangel Gabriel. 

"Now Zayn, I want you to know how deeply I empathize with you. All those lovely tunes of yours rejected over and over, your vocal abilities limited by SYCO 's shortsightedness. How disrespectful and frustrating for you?" A knock on the door interrupted this sales pitch, as Room Service arrived. Niall leapt up to open the door, but at that precise moment the demon disappeared. 

"Whotcher?" Harry and Lou blurted .

Waiting until they had all moved to the quickly set up table, and Room Service had left, the lads asked each other what had just happened. Niall wondered if they could eat first and discuss mass hallucinations later. Zayn hugged Niall tightly, "Don't ever change." At this Niall's eyes grew wet. 

"So" Louis added ," you all saw and heard my hallucination." Harry smiled weakly. "At least it's gone now," he continued. "You and Zayn must be really hungry. Can I try a piece of your Tempura?" RBB and I both sat soothingly on Zayn's lap, hoping our calm would help him to eat.


	15. Where Do Broken Hearts Go and Hide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which chapter 14 is properly concluded, as Mephistopheles reappears and is confronted by Harry...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry to close the last chapter hurriedly. I do not have WiFi at home and publish from friend's and family's homes, and it was necessary to depart homeward.

Louis looked up from a bite of chicken tempura, " Oh no, it's my hallucination again!! I mean our group hallucination." This time around Niall pulled out a phone to record this mysterious event. 

He placed his Samsung on the table and went on eating. "Sorry Mr. Hallucination, but this dinner is too good to allow to get cold" Niall said. All five focused on the thing's perfectly combed hair and manicured nails, and tailoring fit for a royal, and wished it would disappear. Their meal was delicious. " 

"Excuse me young gentlemen for disturbing your meal, but my master and I feel our offer to you is too important to your happiness to not complete my presentation." (RBB and I growled telepathically.) "And if you'll pardon my saying - I am not an it. My name is Mephistopheles." 

Zayn replied, " Well that's impossible, because Mephistopheles is a fictitious character..." 

"You mean an author dreamed up our hallucination, but somehow it's got loose from our five unconscious minds and has popped up tonight to make us question our sanity - maybe as a result of an odorless and tasteless gas released by SYCO to cause us to react irrationally and make fools of ourselves in the media?" suggested Lou. 

Testilly Mephi repeated "I am not an it!" * 

"Hold on, " responded Louis, " don't be gettin' all uppity with us. This is our supper that's getting ruined here, Mr. Hallucination." 

Mephi shot his cuffs and made quite an effort to control himself. Finally he regained his benevolent expression, and pulled a cup of Earl Grey tea out of the thin air. Stirring his tea, he continued " So your !Modest! owners wish to break you up as a performing group?" 

Louis put down his chopsticks and addressed the erstwhile literary character, "Aha, it's definitely a hallucination because no one ever knows !Modest! and SYCO 's secrets except Simon, and maybe Harry Magee or Richard! Even the charwomen have to sign NDA's." 

Mephistopheles gave Lou a look of utter contempt. "Apparently you are unfamiliar with the characterizations of my excellent personage, Mr. Tomlinson. I am the right hand of His Darkness, the Master of Mayhem, Misery, and Misfortune - aka Satan. " Mephi obviously expected some kind of reaction, maybe gasps of horror, or cringing in Fear. 

The boys went on eating. RBB and I were incredibly proud of our lads, for Niall turned to Louis and said, " It is a really talkative hallucination, boys, isn't it?" 

Liam suggested " What if we turn away and ignore it?" 

*"I am not an it!! roared Mephistopheles. "I am the second most powerful demon in the Hellish Dimensions!!" 

Now all the lights in the room went out and Zayn grabbed Liam 's arm saying "I think we need to consider the possibility that what" he cleared his throat, "Mephistopheles here has said should be taken seriously." The lights came back on. ( RBB and I ascertained that his shin guards were still on, but RBB suggested that I climb up on his head and bite Mephi.) Meanwhile Zayn groaned, " Liam, there must be a real nefarious plan here to get us to sell our souls in order to end Simon and SYCO 's strangle hold on our lives." 

"No shit!" responded his best friend. "What is your devious and diabolical proposal Mr. Mephistopheles, " asked Liam in a really quiet voice. 

"Liam, Zayn, my dear young fellows, no need to be melodramatic. It is a straightforward trade, or barter, if you will." Mephi breathed deeply and smiled his truly fake smile. 

Snapping back at him sharply, Zayn said, "Look Hallucination, mythical being, or demon - I definitely do not know you and after years of being lied to and manipulated by our management, I want you to know that..." and here he ground out: "I AM NOT your anything!!!" 

Now SBB, was about to chomp down on a demonic digit, when Mephi froze him in place with an evil blast that hit his mind. "Mess with me again Little Fuzzy and I will turn you so cold, you will shatter to bits if I blow on you, and how will you help your precious 1D lads then?" 

" Boys," Mephistopheles continued, " Zayn has his plane ticket out of your formerly happy lives, and you can do nothing. You are all five of you caught up in a web spun by the biggest bosses in the music industry. They have unlimited legal powers and wealth. Like spiders they are sucking you dry of all your earnings, energy, creativity, and joy." He finished his tea and the cup and saucer disappeared. "Pardon my bluntness but they have loathesome plans for each and every one of you. Lads, we in the Hellish dimensions specialise in cruelty and suffering, but these humans have outdone us with regards to your huge one-sided contracts and nasty plans for your futures. But despite his reputation, my boss, the CEO of the Dimension of Discord, Disruption, and Despair has seen all. ... and he wants to help you. Yes, our 'Souls for Goals'-a short 400 years of indentured servitude to Satan- offers the solution to all your Suffering. Think of it, a full life for each one of you enjoying musical success and the true love you humans prize." Suddenly large parchments appeared before each. "Please read through our clear and simple contract." Each began to read. 

Mephi continued, "...as to the four hundred years of servitude, you will find that adventures on other planets in other galaxies will be stimulating and exciting. After all it is a huge universe of overlapping dimensions, the like of which your puny mortal, uh, your human minds can scarcely imagine. Now as for side effects: they are only mild mindlessness, existential emptiness and nausea, uncontrollable greed, and a a fondness for bitter cocktails. Most of these can be mitigated by copious amounts of illicit drugs" He had said the things so quickly I doubt they understood what he said. RBB and I were hopping mad. 

Suddenly Harry leapt up and ran off to his room. As he was dashing through the doorway, Mephi cried out that pens were on the way. Gold quills appeared. Liam handled his gingerly. "Are these the kind your fellow literary creation Harry Potter, used?" 

At this point, Harry reappeared and holding a small vial, similar to an air travel shampoo bottle. ("Oh my angels and saints!!" R.B.B. and S.B.B. exclaimed. ) 

Having unscrewed the container, Harry now threw the contents all over Mephistopheles. "Through the power of the Creator and Our Lady of Lourdes you are compelled to leave us!" Harry shouted. 

There was sizzling and a hissing noise. "Now,... now I'm mel..."cried the demon and he disappeared. Mephi fell through the hotel, the planet, the Milky Way, and into the Dismal Dimensions. He smacked down hard on the floor of Satan's office. His boss looked down at him in disgust glowering at him with bits of molten hot rocks flaring off his furious countenance. Mephistopheles cringed. 

Back in the suite everyone jumped up to hug Harry. 

Liam asked "Harry what did you just do?" Zayn started to pass out cold ones, as all returned to their dinner. During the next hour Harry and Louis told how Harry's gran had given the Holy Water to him to protect him from Simon's leering, lecherous and generally creepy behaviour.. Then they told all the related religious tales learned as children as Liam asked question after question. Niall began checking his recording only to announce that the hallucination was not present on the digital record. Zayn noted that the contracts and quills were gone. Niall looked around and whispered " OK. The hallucination is gone. But tell me Harold did ye never throw Holy Water on Simon, and if ya did," he whispered even more quietly, "... then what happened?"


	16. tongue-in-cheek :  Little Black Dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which RBB and SBB petition Archangel Gabriel for mini-light sabers to fight Mephistopheles...Archangels Gabriel and Michael have an unseemly altercation over the fate of the 1D lads...and Belfast is a "bust"...if that is not enough Mephistopheles appears again

***************Our 'A'-mail was answered by a summons to meet Archangel Gabriel on one of Saturn's outer rings while he was passing through. So we suited up and teleported there. He had brought his office with him because well, he could. Naturally he glared at us and asked for a detailed report on Mephistopheles ' mischief. Here is where we got a little bit above ourselves. I asked for a mini -flaming sword to fight off that Diabolical Salesman, and RBB thought a Darth Vader-like miniature light saber would be, as Lou says: "sick". "He'll be back we guarantee," I said. " He froze me last time (!!!!), and I couldn't kick him out." I practically shouted. Of course His Angelic Wonderfulness just sent us back empty handed. We wore ourselves out rushing from Zayn (back home), to the boys on tour or writing( with the musical hirelings so the next album could come out on time), and then back to Zayn. Finally Zayn's guardian angel seemed sufficiently renewed in spirit to do his job so that we knew Zayn would be OK by and by. Naturally we focused on the other four. Archangel Gabriel questioned the use of our avatars in Gay Rights Advocacy, then a lot of the Seraphim had a lot to say about that! Whew! One Dimension at a time I say when it comes to problems.

 

***************** Now when we met Brianna and family we noticed signs that Mephi had been there before Lou and our apprehension ratcheted up considerably. RBB would have liked to shorten the heels of her pumps with a Light Saber on the infamous "date" that started the 'Media Babygate Fricasso '. She might have pitched forward and knocked ' tipsy and terribly unhappy Louis' flat on his head, 1thus giving him a concussion and foiling Simon's plan. We wrote this down in our log and cc'd it to Archangel Gabriel and Archangel Michael. Apparently there was a little fracas at the edge of the Milky Way Galaxy. 

"Why did you refuse to arm our angels-in-training?" demanded Michael the Archangel, waving his huge flaming sword menacingly around Archangel Gabriel. " They aren't equipped to fight Sony Music Corp. much less Mephistopheles and his minions." When he spoke heavenly pipe organs sounded with each syllable, and the atmosphere of the nearest planet way out there filled with multicolored energy shows. As you recall Archangel Gabriel does not believe he can make a mistake. So, the sword waving got more violent, and the cool looks grew icier, and the Creator felt the need to send them both to opposite ends of the Universe for time outs. 

As we were singing to sleep a weeping Harry and Louis that night of the second Brianna outing, our best Gay Angel Choir appeared to help us. Soon both our lads were dreaming peacefully of a distant and happier time. Flabbergasted we thanked the angels profusely. After telling us how much they were enjoying the gay rainbow bondage bear installations and photos, they confided the story of the Archangels mixing it up, and then laughing, their consequences. Then they gave us each a "hug" from the Creator and told us to keep up the difficult work we were doing. We were so chuffed RBB and I sat up all night thinking of new gay rights communications to suggest to Louis and Harry's unconscious minds over the next few weeks. 

 

 

********************Spring burst into Summer which faded into Fall and of course, the lads were still touring. We had been given a few anti-demon products which were: gastritis causing gel for Mephi's tea if he turned up again, allergy attack inducing powder for sadistic handlers and the overreaching Jungwirths, and tiny cheer-up bubbles for the boys when they became too blue. The lads were in UK on the last leg of their tour. Liam was hoping to have a half-day visit with Zayn before they got to Belfast. There was going to be a horse for RBB to ride on stage there, and a nut tree mystery for the fans to solve, and lots of good Irish stout. However 1D HQ really ruined any chances of a good or successful performance! The first we bears knew of the problems was Liam drinking heavily all afternoon, cursing and swearing. Next Lou intercepted a magazine article announcing that the Tomlinson baby had been born in L.A. Of course that was totally impossible. 

After only five months of gestation, a baby would not weigh eight pounds and all would not be well. Louis and Harry suddenly both lost it...as in any pretense of straight behaviour. Harry grabbed Lou and gave him one long passionate kiss, right in front of some Suits. "Baby we're parents now. I feel great after zero hours of labor!" announced Harry loudly. Their laughter seemed just a little hysterical to us bears. What to do? 

Niall was trying fruitlessly to comfort Liam who had gone from angry drunk to desperately unhappy drunk. Two hours to Showtime and the lads were manic. Currently Louis and Harry were making a huge New Baby Girl banner, laughing with tears running out of their eyes. Liam had started banging his fists against the floor sobbing so loudly he could be heard all over the arena. And it was pouring rain outside! " I can't ... I won't pretend any more " Liam choked out. 

Niall suggested to an arena manager that a bomb scare could be announced, afterwards denied, and no show would need to be done. Someone heard only part of what he said and panicked. Bomb sniffing dogs arrived through the back entrance. It was chaos. 

***Venting angrily the Suits called Simon, SYCO, and Sony. They ranted about our 1D lads being out of control. At this point, the bomb sniffing dogs were smelling the Suits, Harry and Louis had a ladder and a stagehand and were hanging their New Baby banner. The Suits announced to the arena manager that tonight's show had to be cancelled. 

 

*** As a result of the chaos, Niall's Gastric Reflux flared up so badly that a nurse was summoned. Liam passed out. Lou and Harry disappeared to 'celebrate' the birth of their new baby, or the unexpected night off. The Suits stormed off to London to cause trouble for the lads. 

Of course !MODEST¡ mismanagement had never cared about helping our boys make it to the Pantheon of Pop-rock Greats. Niall and friends went to a pub and gathered bags of comfort food then returned to Harry and Lou's room just as those two were rejoining the group after renewing their deep commitment to each other. Liam woke up and pattered in to take some aspirin and join in damage control. "Thanks Niall" Harry was saying when a somewhat familiar figure appeared in a genuine Haz-Mat suit. 

"Where is that light saber when I need it?" gasped RBB. 

Mephi smiled behind his waterproof glass mask. "Why hello again, had a wee bit of bother tonight?" Adopting an Irish brogue, the demon went on, "... and isn't truly heart breaking the way ya lost your Zayn?" Liam lurched forward to attempt bodily harm upon the person of Mephistopheles, but Lou caught and held him back. "Ya know I could 'a' kept him wit' ya, but it's stubborn ya are." 

"Begone foul demon." Niall pronounced, but Mephistopheles just laughed. RBB and I were helpless since Mephi was wearing protective gear. 

The high demon turned toward Lou, "So Louis William, by today's turn of events your knowing this baby-daddy business is no joke. This thing's really happenin'." Louis blanched. Harry shuddered. 

RBB and I yelled at the boys' full-fledged guardian angels, " Do something!! He's about to pull those contract-thingies out of the air again. The lads are in a weakened and vulnerable state tonight. Chase him away. You outnumber him." 

They twisted their hands and wings in dismay, and did exactly nothing. "He outranks us RBB and SBB. He might hurt us." We were about to throw our fluffy selves against Mephi, when the usual parchment and gold quills appeared. Mephistopheles grinned nastily at we angels and angels-in-training.

*** "There is a contract appearing in front of your Zayn right now as well Lima Bean, that's what he calls you sometimes, isn't it? " Louis and we bears snarled and growled at Mephi, who pretended to have hurt feelings. "How can you treat me so rudely before you even know our latest offer? Today and today only it's a twofer. Yes Our Dastardly dimensions are offering you the opportunity of a lifetime. One signs and two benefit. And... in your case Liam, it's threefor. You sign, Niall benefits, and His Wonderful Darkness throws in a great life for Zayn as a bonus." Mephi leaned back and smiled. "Or Lou and Harold you two sign and we will take good care of Niall, Liam, and Zayn and benevolent Beelzebub will guarantee that the two of you can work out you four hundred years on the same planets!" Again he paused, "What amazing songwriting giants you'll become. How great will be 1D 's fame and success!" < At this point RBB, and those failed guardian angels and I myself, SBB were praying. We were bombarding the heavenly dimensions with prayer. Niall was saying his Hail Mary's like a real pro. Harry and Louis, arms around each other seemed too stunned for coherent prayer, " Help us Lord, help, help, help us. " 

And Liam was in shock. He just jabbered "God if you're listening SOS, SOS, SOS, SOS..." and so on. Little did they know how powerful their prayers were. 

***Suddenly we all heard a commotion in the Hallway. "Well g' nite to ya Ciaran, thanks for the visit." Then we heard some loud laughter and general clumsiness and a crash against our door. "Sweet Jesus Jamie, are ya after breaking this fine establishment?" 

Of course hearing a fellow countryman, Niall leapt for the door. He opened it wide on a trio of whitehaired priests all "in their cups" and full of good cheer. As Niall attempted to help the fallen father up, the other two looked inside, spotted Mephi and saw him instantly for what he was. "Would you look at that Paddy, it's Satan 's second in command, right here in our own Belfast!?!" 

As soon as Father James rose to his feet ,he too exclaimed, " Saints preserve us, Oeghan and Paddy, Mephistopheles over dere is tryin' to get t'at young man to sign one of their dastardly contracts." 

"Well boyos, we have work to do here," agreed Father Patrick. Smoothing his cassock, and rolling up his sleeves, they joined the lads in prayer. 

***"Unnecessary supplication... Ow, Ow" yelped Mephi. "Okay I'm leaving." And as he disappeared, we could hear him mutter " who knew those lads would be so well protected?" 

Of course Satan was waiting to use Mephistopheles for soccer practice up and down the corridors of the Hellish dimensions.

** Back on earth there were calls to room service for pots of tea and sandwiches, and chocolate biscuits. Management looked in to see what All the laughter was about, only to find three elderly priests having midnight tea with the boys of 1D. They shut the door and shook their heads. 

* I nudged RBB, "... saved by a prayer."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gentle readers I meant no disrespect to clergy or Star Wars fans, but some things do appeal to my wacky sense of humor.


	17. Agnus Dei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which angelic mail between RBB and SBB and Archangel Gabriel's office is offered for your delegation and enjoyment...it would seem workplace problems exist even in the heavenly dimensions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gentle readers thank you for your patience with the slow storytelling.

Interdimensional "a"-mail

Date: Earthtime December 2015/p>

From: Archangelic Division (Heaven)  
heavenneverwaits@office of human/angeliccommun.eternity

To: Rainbow Bondage and Sugar Baby Bear angels-in-training  
rbb&sbb1D@guardians.angels.heav

Subjct: Harassment from Mephistopheles

My dear guardian angels in training, your last report pleased me very much. Glad to see you're enlisting help from earthly religious professionals. However I really feel that Mephisthopheles will not be your greatest challenge in the future. Humans have a way of accomplishing things out of their simple greed and vindictiveness that Satan and his minions could not. The next few years, not to speak of the future in detail, are going to present many difficulties for you two . Your charges will be severely tried. That is all I will say. 

Feel free to consult more often.  
Your Supervisor, Gabriel, Archangel for Human Affairs

This message was no comfort to us. In fact we sat down and wept rainbow tears. Hadn't our lads been through enough trials? Where was the good part of the mathematical Law of Randomness ? We redoubled our soothing nightly singing efforts. We kept our minds open for sensing threats. We exercised. (Sigh)


	18. Give Me Some Morphine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which time passes and hardships come thick and fast but , thank heaven, Mephistopheles does not return to say "I told you so."

So over the next week's and months Harry, Louis, Nial and Liam used our adorably soft plushy avatars to say things they couldn't speak. Yes they' given Mephistopheles and Satan the 'old heave-ho' refusing to sell their souls for happiness and success, but Zaynie still couldn't come back? And it seemed to SBB and me that "Miss I'm having your baby" was everywhere in the press and on social media. The campaign to crush Louis' spirit was in full swing. Who knew then it would only get worse? 

As they promoted MITAM Simon announced their demise by procliming a hiatus for them all. Simon had given them a script, a narrative to act out. I think the words got choked in their throats sometimes, and they fell ill one after the other -exhausted and sick at heart.  


Christmas came and went. Then Harry flew off to fulfill his part in Simon's new reality drama - !!Harry Styles Superstar!! It was a hard time for Louis and he spent New Year's Eve weeping, not really great company for hisNorth England friends.  
"

"Happy Ducking NewYears babe" Louis skyped to Haz on the Azoff yacht. "I meant Happy Fuck Fucking New Years" he slurred.  
"

"Oh Babe", Harry whispered as the vessel rocked gently.  


"Our plans ..." Louis began brokenly, shivering a little in the cold.  
"

"Yeah, I know, ruined again." Haz went on trying to be cheerful now, "Our tree's still up, and we'll all get together when I get home".  
"

"Not the same," Lou said glumly. "Whatever means most to us they love to snatch away. Did we just dream a little private dream? ...Just for us two?... Their spies find out and it's halfway across the world for one of us!" His voice caught and he swiped at his eyes. "I know I'm a little drunk but Shit!! I really miss you"  


" Right, Lads lie yourselves sick, pretend you want this endless hiatus, and this craziness. Shit, but let us be together for the New Year!?" Lou laughed bitterly.  


There was a pause on Harry's end. " Coming Mum ," H. called to her where she was softly knocking on his cabin door. "Sorry, so sorry Lou Bear , I gotta go," he tried to smile at his dearest.  


Tears filled Lou's eyes again, but he only nodded.  


"I love you; you know I love you, " Harry murmured. "Please tell me you love me too".  


"Love you to infinity and beyond," Louis choked out his tears streaming down his so loved face. He clicked off his phone in Donny and threw himself down on his bed.  


Harry just sat there stunned with the pain of the last few minutes. Then he realized his mum was still at his cabin door. He rose and unlatched the door, unaware that he too was now crying. "It hurts too much Mum ," Harry croaked, "Give me some morphine!"His mother looked carefully at her handsome and successful young son, then turned and shut the door.  


She enfolded him in a big hug. As she pulled her by now sobbing son onto the settee she gave him a handful of Kleenex. Rubbing his back in soothing circles, she asked, " ... want to talk about it?" He reached out a hand for more tissues, since the ones she'd given him were now a sodden wad. Dabbing at his eyes, Harry took a big breath and lifted his red rimmed eyes to her. "Oh Harry I wish I could make it better." He nodded, reached for his poetry journal and hastily scribbled a few lines. "Why don't you wash your face now and put some concealer under your eyes? " She smile gently at him.  


cThat bad Mum?," he said.  


cWell you don't want Jeff asking a lot of questions or thinking of mad things to cheer you up do you?"   


Just at that moment Harry looked over at our avatars sitting on his bed. His mum reached over and pulled them to her. She kissed each one on the head, then began asking them what she could do for Harry and Louis.  


SBB gave me quite a look. " We're right over here " he said to Mrs T., ....as though she could see our real selves. Harry emerged from the wc having repaired his face and even put some lip balm on. He took the rainbow teddies and hugged them.  


"Lou insisted I bring them with me," he smiled a little. "If I wake up at night really hurting for Lou, I cuddle them. Guess I'm not so grown up after all."  


[SBB hissed in my ear, " nobody knows we are real guardian angels in training. This is so frustrating.!"] 

"Hey" I, RBB said to him" I am narrating now,", and I turned to Harry  
"That's so true lad," I whispered to Harry,"...none of you human beings is ever so grown up as to stop needing a bit of a cuddle, even if only from our avatars," and I pinched SBB to stop him from talking. I was watching Harry take his mother's arm twine it round his, and resignedly walk out into the hall of the yacht.  


 

Niall was about to take a real break. Liam was about to get "treated like dirt" by Simon and co.

Meanwhile Lou's trials were far from over. First he had to go skiing with Danielle and then he had to fly to L.A. for "The blessed event" and greet whatever baby substitute Simon and company had hired. We trailed about with him, and heard on the angel line that Harry was looking at wedding venues and checking out bakeries for cakes. Oh heavens, we wished we knew what he knew. Still, he arrived in Los Angeles in time to support Louis through the first worst part of the stunt. And we were thrilled they used our avatars to celebrate Harry's 22 birthday.

 

People, that is, fans really missed our avatars. It was sweet, but we felt so sad for them -the fans I mean. 

 

In March Archangel Gabriel actually FaceTimed us to give us some pretty grim news. Our lads were going to be smacked by Life at its random worst. They'd withstood Simon, Mephistopheles, and the dread Lord of Darkness, just to meet Death head on. Random radiation, coal particulates in the air, Stress, and the toxins in humanity's Built Environment had tripped a "switch" genetically in Louis' dear and lovely mother. She had Leukemia - a really aggressive kind. In weeks she would fall ill, and she would not recover. "You Bears have a huge job ahead of you keeping the boys' spirits up. You will be their lifeboat. You must be their  
Lifeboat. This is your primary job"  
" And", Gabriel added "Robin Twist is fighting his own battle with cancer, which he too will lose next year." 

....and Harry has taken on the challenge of a role in a very important film, " SBB and I added. "We'll be flying back and forth from one lad to the other on whatever zephyrs will carry us."  


"You mean, " Archangel Gabriel said, "you are hoping we will allow you two to hop a lot of rides with winged guardian angels, am I right Rainbow Bears?" He gave us a supercilious look.  


"That's Rainbow Bondage Bears," we corrected him.

 

 

Naturally Harry did well on the set of Dunkirk and seemed to enjoy eating, more than he had in years. All that swimming around in cold water does build up a young man's appetite. 

We did everything unseen angel-in-training-rainbow bears could do to support Lou and his family. We sang to Jay in her sleep, and put as many good ideas for cheer out as we could. There were a lot of 'A (angel)-mails' between ourselves and the Department of Heavenly/Human Relations. One night as we sat on the hospital roof trying to pray coherently for dear Jay, her family, Robin and his family, and the other lads, we were surprised by a visitor from up above. A gust of wind, a flash of blue-white light and there was the grumpiest of all archangeldom: Archangel Samuel. He is about ten human feet tall and scowls like he never drinks heavenly nectar.  
"

Do you two realize that you sent # 1, 347 a-mails just this past week? Do you think Gabriel and the cherubim have nothing else to do but answer your questions, and respond to your requests??" His robes turned thunderstorm grey, and his wings dimmed to almost charcoal in hue.  


What did my sidekick, my bff do? SBB rocked back and forth on his little feet in front of that towering mass of irate angel and clasped his tiny hands behind his back. " Oh no, dear Archangel Samuel, your great tallness, did we accidentally send so many messages?" He blinked his little long-lashed eyes and looked hopefully up at the great archangel. 

Oh no I thought. This is it. We're history. Scorched roof time.  


The mighty archangel got down to a cross legged sitting position, and looked SBB right in the eyes. " Do not try to charm me, Sugar Baby. There are complaints about the delays you caused filed from Topeka, Kansas to Tonga in the South Pacific, the round the world to Tenerife ."  
I put my arm around SBB and said in as repentant a voice as I could, "Please forgive us. We'll do better."  


Heaving himself up, the archangel sighed gustilly ( as in strong wind gusts.) "Look Rainbow Bears," he said gently, " everyone in heaven is shattered when something like this happens to such a loving human. We all are heartbroken for her children and husband. And so many other humans like them...Why If we were corporeal our tears would have flooded earth a thousand times a thousand times." To our absolute amazement he hugged us, and also Louis sleeping with his head on his arms on the end of his mum's bed, and Harry sleeping in a nearby chair, and Jay herself. A faint smile flickered across her face.

 

 

We Rainbow Bears stood by our boy as he sang for his mum. (She was getting oriented in the vastness of Heaven that earth night, , but she gave him a heart hug that night. 

Our avatars got stowed in a cabinet full of Louis's treasures. We were not going into storage, nevertheless when the glass doors closed over them we almost felt like we two were also being sent on a hiatus. That wasn't the case. Stunts went on, Simon and SYCO 'S vendetta against Louis was still on, albums needed touring, separations were just as bitter for our lads. We became even busier because the number of souls we tried to encourage had dramatically grown. Our job was bigger than ever. But SBB and RBB are not quitters. If Louis and Harry Niall and Liam and Zayn and all their family members could keep on keeping on, then so would we.  
.


	19. Strong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we meet an old fiend, and surprisingly find some hope.

It was an unseasonably warm late Fall afternoon in 2018. Our lads were sat in a London cafe holding hands and sharing some bizarre concoction of Kale, fried chicken, oranges, and waffles. A garden wall with gorgeous plantings turned all the colors of the season separated them from the street. We were warm and drowsy about to take a well deserved nap, when poof! an old adversary materialized before us. We gasped.  
Tattered Seville Row suit, torn shabby shoes, silk socks pooled round his ankles, ...there stood before us the one and only Mephistopheles. He blinked at us... Then he grinned as though we were his demon pals. "Ahh Rainbow Bondage Bears we meet again" he murmured obsequiously. ( How very trite we thought, has he lost his wits?) He spoke again, "er, ...do you think you could spot me for a ...small cup of ...espresso?"  
We fixed him with our steeliest stare. "How dare you show up here?"  


SBB stood tall as he could. " How dare you come bother Our Lads after everything you did, and all they've endured?!!!"  


Mephi amazed us by crumbling into a weeping wreck of a demon right before our feet. Fortunately he had not materialized sufficiently to be seen by human eyes, or heard. "You can not imagine what I have suffered, " he began. " When Satan abandoned Pop Music as a means to World Domination, he blamed me. Me! And now I am only his Errand Boy's errand boy. There was more muffled sobbing. "My Great Dread Lord Of Evil, the Prince of Lies, Deception, and Mayhem has gone into world politics!" Then in a small voice he repeated his first request, " ...I would really love a coffee??"  


" So, " we said together. "You have come to regret thousands of Human years of poor choices?"  
He nodded miserably.  


"This is not simply demonic coffee withdrawal speaking, is it?" 

He groaned and gave us quite a bitter look .RBB, myself, conferred with SBB, "Well shall we make the call?" My best mate nodded vigorously. We called the Heavenly Department of Fallen Angel Rehabilitation and they came to get him. To his delight they'd picked up a whole thermos of Espresso to sustain him on their journey.  


"I'll be the best reformed Fallen Angel ever Bears !" he promised as he left.  


"No nap for us" I told SBB. 

Over at their table the lads had their heads close together in hushed conversation. Haz was showing a screen on his fancy phone to Lou. "So we five finally have enough money to buy out a controlling share of SYCO ?" Lou was asking.  


Harry nodded. Then he chuckled. Louis knew a pun of some sort was coming. They paid, exited the restaurant and as they strolled homeward Harry whispered in Lou's ear. " We're all going in together, and coming out together." Harry was guffawing at his joke. Louis rolled his eyes. They p,aused by a small private London park. Together they reviewed a list of solicitor and lawyer's appointments. 

Now Harry pulled one of his white gold chains off his neck. He removed the ring he'd been wearing over his heart and solemnly slid it on Louis's extended finger. "Let everyone see this now," Harry said lovingly. Lou removed a ring from Harry's right hand ring finger and slid it on his left.  


"You too," and he kissed both the hand and Harry. Then sea blue eyes caressed sea green eyes. "Race you home!" Louis announced breaking into a sprint.  


"Unfair advantage" called Harry as he began to catch up.  


Then we were all home and the young men were falling in their doorway laughing and gasping for breath. Before we could follow as per our custom, two grandly glowing archangels stopped us in the hallway. "Well done Brand New Guardian Angels! " Gabriel clapped us both vigorously on the back. Michael actually smiled at us, and our gay angel choir arrived singing" I Will Follow Him".  


I felt a tingling behind my shoulder blades as SBB gasped, "we've got our wings RBB!"  


Then as my chest grew warm, I realized I was wearing a golden breatplate over my leather bondage ware. We opened our pearlescent wings and fluttered just a little laughing in joy. Gabriel concluded, " you two are now Harry and Louis's Official Guardian Angels." And I don't know on which side of that door that day there was more laughing and singing.


End file.
